Tag: faith

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Redemption

LS

We are currently surrounded by boxes and incredible chaos. It seems that the more you try to pack the more things get cluttered. It makes it hard to see the progress, although we are hoping we are getting near to the end.

In the midst of the chaos of moving, we are also trying to help those impacted by the chaos of the move. We have shared different aspects of trying to help children regulate. It is not a one time thing either. It is more like a daily, moment by moment type of thing. There is a ton which we have learned through this and many things that can be shared.

One of the many things that has come out of this has been the chance to talk with our kids about their past. Transitions often bring about regression especially amongst adoptive children. While all children will get stressed and perhaps revert back to some former habits, adoptive children can almost seem to move years backwards rather than just steps. Part of this has to do with transitions bringing the past back to the forefront. This can resurface dramas and hardships. It can make it hard to work through and resolve without first travelling backward in time to understand, as best as possible.

Fortunately, some of our kids habe been willing to travel back in time with us and give us some small glimpses of the past. Their story is theirs to tell and ours to guard until they do. However, suffice to say that it is not a pleasant journey either for the story teller or the audience. Multiple of them have had trouble thinking about anything positive, even the smallest positive thing about their life before the orphanage. In their words, there was nothing positive about this part of their past.

Recently, one of them was talking and the question came up about what is something they would change about their past, if possible. The most negative aspects and individuals were the quick, easy, and anticipated answer. But what was not so anticipated was what came next. The child paused for a second and then said, “But then again, if those things hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t have met you all and you wouldn’t have adopted me.” Given their story and the darkness surrounding it, this was a remarkable thought to have come out unprompted.

The amazing thought can be summarized with the word redemption. Redemption means to buy back something which was lost. It is the image of a possession sold to settle a debt or provide needed funds that is then repurchased by the original owner. A child experienced a life no one should ever have to endure, lost a family that should have been and sadly never was, and yet, through all the tragedy, is able to see how the Lord works through sin to bring about His purposes and His purposes for His own are good. It provided a great chance to share about how God is able to take pain and sin, and redeem what was lost in a glorious finale that none other could produce or even imagine.

This is the story of all of God’s adoptive children – we were lost in our sins and trespasses. Our darkness was our own making. Yet, God in His kindness did not leave us in our darkness. Rather, He stepped in, invaded with His light, and redeemed His own…bought them back, and brought them into a family.

This isn’t to say the darkness is excusable or that it is easy to say, share, hear, or feel. It is wrong and always will be. Yet, it is to say that even as evil as sin can be, God can bring about something good – not because of, but in spite of the best attempts of the darkness. Because God is a God who redeems. And that is a glorious truth worth celebrating even as the darkness is mourned over. Praise God for His redemptive work!

Now…about those boxes…perhaps something else needs some redemption…

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When Life Gives You Lemons

LS

As the saying goes, when life give you lemons, make lemonade! The past several weeks have been full of goodbyes and letting go. Learning how to handle them and how to navigate emotions can be difficult. Regulation is not something we are born naturally knowing how to do.

We have been incredibly blessed by all the amazing love, care, and support that has been poured out upon us. We could not have asked for a sweeter, kinder, more heartfelt farewell. It made us realize how much of a family we truly had surrounding us and also made leaving all the harder.

Interestingly, our kids experienced this in a different way. They loved the gifts, kinds thoughts, love and embraces they received from everyone. And yet, for most of them, there wasn’t the same level of investment. Leaving has been a different experience for us as parents and for our first adopted son whose closest connections were in the church. For our other kids, they were coming in as outsiders for a short period of time. Yet, they were able to build connections and friendships in a short period of time.

Our final Sunday was especially emotional. We were very thankful for the time at MICC and, though the full weight of the emotions hasn’t hit us entirely, it did hit us sufficiently. In fact, the first remark from our kids after the final service was that this was all their fault and we are having to leave because of them. Now, before anyone reading this worries that they might have said something that might lead to this, we do want to assure you this was not the result of any particular comments. Rather, it is an underlying concern that surfaced…a concern that can often occur when major change happens that is perceived as negative. Children often feel that perhaps things they did or said led to this and it can cause anxiety and concern.

As we have mentioned in the past, adoptive children are not necessarily different in this sense. Rather the difference lies in the degree and the intensity. They know what it is like to lose everything, even if the result ends up being better. And they also know that a driving force behind the change was the adoption. However, until the goodbyes, it didn’t quite sink in about how difficult, sad, and emotional this would be for everyone, mom and dad included, and for the church. Before that, it was just changing one location not well known or invested in for another.

It is certainly understandable why they would draw this particular conclusion. Life has given them some serious lemons – ones that are more sour than just this event and ones that keep resurfacing whenever other lemons are handed out. Their lemons are more sour than most people ever get in their entire lives. Yet, lemons provide an opportunity despite their sourness. We had the chance to talk about how family is more important to us, how we trust that God is using this to move us in His direction, that this was our decision – not their fault and that we are so thankful for them. Though the transition is difficult and we don’t want to deny that, our family comes before our location of ministry or type of ministry. It also gives us the chance to share that the harvest is ripe all over – it is not difficult to find another field to work in…it will not be the same, it won’t have the people or the same connections, but the work is not scarce. Our family, on the other hand, is not replaceable in any sense. The health of our family and the needs of our family are a higher priority.

You see, God provides an opportunity to use the lemons to squeeze the lemonade of trust, love, and a firm foundation. It will take time, lots of repetition, and these feelings don’t disappear overnight. But, by God’s grace, lemonade can be produced.

Of course there is much more to share…mom and dad have been busy with goodbyes, packing, preparing, and helping everyone regulate that we haven’t been able to fully process things ourselves. But we are thankful for the glimpse the Lord has blessed us with into how He is working. In the lives of His family, the Body of Christ, and in the lives of our family. Divine lemonade, sweet, refreshing, and redemptive.

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Pieces Falling into Place

LS

Although it has been coming down to the wire and it seems like a million things have been changing at the last possible second, the pieces are slowly beginning to fall into place. We were very thankful to discover the Brazilian passports in our mailbox today. This is one piece that allows us to breathe a bit easier and to start the application process for the electronic travel authorization required to visit the UK. We were so thankful for all the help we received from friends who walked us through this process, helped us fix the tax number complications, and helped us email the consulate to request the passports due to our approaching deadline to leave.

Another piece that has fallen into place recently is a location in Scotland opening up. We have learned that the area of Fearn, Scotland has a Free Church that could use some help and that also has a manse that we can stay in for the duration of our time there. There are still plenty of details to be discussed – exactly in what way we can best minister to and serve the congregation there, the address of the manse, etc. But we are thankful to have a general vicinity at this stage. Fearn is about 45 minutes by car north of Inverness, one of the northernmost large cities in Scotland. We have been incredibly thankful for all the help and support that we have received from MTW in coordinating this and getting things set up.

We are also thankful to have been able to finish out our time at MICC well – more to come on that in a later post. We were incredibly thankful for the send off, the warm and emotional goodbyes, the very kind words and thoughts, and the chance to rejoice together in all that the Lord has done. Today we were grateful to take part in a wedding as our final event with MICC. The Lord has put all the pieces in place for them to continue moving forward well and for that we rejoice greatly. We are thankful for the leadership He has blessed the church with and we are excited to see how He works through the new senior pastor to bless this special congregation.

Pieces are also falling into place with moving. We have been so thankful that the Lord has blessed us with storage options generously donated to us – so much so that we don’t have to pay for a storage facility as we thought we would need to. We have been overwhelmed with the number of offers to help move, pack, clean, lift, etc. It has been a tremendous blessing for which we are immensely grateful. In the midst of all the challenges and stresses that we have been facing, it is a blessing to see these bright rays breaking through the storm clouds.

And we are thankful for you! So many of you have shared how you have been reading and enjoying the blog! It is an encouragement to know someone is reading what we right…and hopefully even getting some comic relief from our chaos! Thank you for your prayers and very kind words! We are thankful for you!

Our jigsaw puzzle of life right now is incredibly complex. But thankfully the Lord knows exactly where each piece belongs and one at a time, in His good timing, He is place each piece into place. And one day we will be able to look back and see the masterpiece from what felt like absolute turmoil.

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Turning up the Heat

LS

The past week we have been enduring some record level heat, especially for this time of year. While many of you might live in places where temperatures routinely soar above 32 C/90 F, without air conditioning and with very little breeze, it can be quite miserable. Adding this into our final week at MICC, a ticking time clock on our stay in Germany, and lots of goodbyes starting to happen, it has us all a little exhausted.

And of course, it seems that just about that same time the heat gets turned up. It always seems to come in massive waves. Michelle was trying to cram for her language test that she took earlier this week, Luke moved a van full of boxes already packed (it was shocking how much would fit into our “bus”!), four bookshelves, two side tables, our outdoor furniture, an office storage drawer, a piano, and another of odds and ends over the process of 3 days. We are so thankful for the extreme generosity of friends allowing us to store things at their places. But in the heat, it made for an extreme workout, and Luke is discovering how much older he is than he would like to imagine…and how his body does not recover the way it once did.

And then the heat gets turned up even more. We have mentioned some mischievous kids before, haven’t we? Well, this week has been full blown mischievousness. A 2am decision to get a snack. The drink of choice? Vinegar mixed with salt…and not the “normal” vinegar (which is still stronger than the American variety), but the vinegar essence, which is either used for cleaning, added in very small amounts, or diluted with water. The snack food of choice? Chewing gum. How did we discover this? Well, Luke was wondering when certain lights were on, but had initially chalked it up to being too tired to remember to turn them off. Then Michelle discovered someone complaining of a stomachache…and little wonder why with that diet. While Luke was off carting a load and a kind friend was watching the kids, the mischievous ones convinced our friend that they were allowed to water the plants, beginning by carting water in plastic storage tubs from the kitchen. When our friend rightly perceived that we would probably not approve of water getting splashed all over the wood floors, they went outside and dismantled the hose (which specifically had the attachments hidden to prevent usage) to continue their task. Then in the midst of trying to pack, while Michelle was getting her prescription filled, Luke heard technological noises upstairs. The mischievous ones had been trying to convince Michelle’s iPad Siri to obey their commands and promptly ran out the door as they heard Luke ascending the stairs (which always is amazing how kids somehow think that isn’t a dead giveaway). Luke then discovered that they had also decided to engage in baking (despite NOT being allowed to use the oven) and had chosen to set the stuffed animals in at 200 C to “dry them”.

As you might imagine, we have all the heat we can handle and then some! We keep praying for patience (which can be hard to come by when temperatures inside are only marginally less than outside), wisdom, and the ability to remember that all of us are under stress and that transitions can trigger and cause some serious relapses. The heat has been turned up…thankfully we know the Lord will not allow us to roast forever. He will bring cooler weather at His timing, and until then, we will continue to trust His gentle kindness and mercies.

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Some Light at the End of the Tunnel

LS

This past week we managed to get a hopeful glimmer of light at what we pray is the end of the citizenship tunnel. Our lawyer was able to transfer our N600-K applications to California. She indicated the USCIS office there was already beginning to review the application. This certainly was hopeful, especially when she indicated that our requested appointment date of October should be very doable.

We are very thankful to have some ballpark dates to be aiming for as it will allow us to also begin making plans for the 6 month window we will have to be stateside. Of course, there are all kinds of ways that things can go wrong and we are somewhat scarred from our experience thus far. However, even if things don’t go as quickly as the lawyer suggested, the official case adjudication time frame for 80% of applications is 6 months. That is significantly faster than the 65 months St. Louis is now quoting and will fall within the 6 month tourist visa timeframe for Scotland.

All of this is the first glimmer of light we have seen in a long time. We are still praying for the hand of the Lord to continue to guide everything and would be most grateful if you would be praying for this too. We still have many things to figure out and, as we have learned very well over the last few months, nothing is official until we get an official notice. The next step is seeing where in Scotland we can be of most help, travelling there in mid July, awaiting the official citizenship hearing date, applying for B2 (non-immigration) visas, and then travelling to the states. Although it is just a glimmer, having some light at the end of the tunnel is a great blessing especially when the tunnel has seemed to be unending. We are thankful for the Lord’s work and kindness and pray He will continue to allow the N600-K applications to move forward.

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Charting a Course

LS

Navigation requires having a plan, charting a course, and then preparing for chaos on the open seas. After much prayer, careful consideration, and discussion, we have a course heading in the midst of the tempest we seem stuck in. Of the two options, neither of which was great, we have decided to set sail for the UK where we can enter on a 6 month tourist visa (both nationalities) and prayerfully see the N600-K citizenship process come to completion in that time frame.

Now that we have a heading, the work of getting underway begins in earnest. We can start to fix dates and work backwards. Several friends of offered to help with storage, many more offered to help in any way needed. MTW is working to help us get set up and for Luke to pulpit supply in a church with a pastoral vacancy. We can begin looking into concrete travel plans, make arrangements for handing over the house, canceling various services, and brining this time in Germany to a close.

There are still significant hurdles in our path. The N600-K average wait time in St. Louis was recently updated to 65 months. It is absolutely inconceivable to us how 8.5 months can suddenly jump to 65 months…or why a process only designed for adoptive children of US citizens who live overseas would take 65 months to complete even in the worst of settings. We are hoping our lawyer can help us refile in a different city with a shorter wait time (which we have to believe is pretty much every other city) and to push for a fast completion. However, even with that we will be resetting the time clock as a transfer will lose any progress thus far. The bright side is that with a 65 month wait time, we are relatively certain nothing has been done with our case in St. Louis and so we likely aren’t actually losing any time.

We are also still in process for the Brazilian passport renewal. We need these passports to come back so that we can apply for the electronic travel permission to enter the UK. Thankfully that is a relatively straightforward and quick process, but we would like to be able to wrap that up as soon as possible and have one less thing hanging over our heads. Based on estimated timelines of 6 weeks, this would put us pretty close to the beginning of July, cutting things a bit tighter than ideal.

As you can see, we still have plenty of prayer topics and things we are trusting the Lord with. The waters do not look smooth at all and we anticipate storms ahead. However, we are thankful to have a course heading, it means we can raise the anchor and start setting off. Though we don’t know how the journey will play out, we do know the One who controls it all – and we are thankful to be in His hands.

Adoption is not for the faint of heart…and though we know that, we do feel like this journey has been even more tumultuous than “standard”. But then again, none of our adoption journeys have gone even close to plan or “standard”. Thankfully God is sovereign even when things are not “standard”.

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When it all Comes Flooding Back

LS

Do you remember your feelings as you first starting gaining independency? The first time you were left at home by yourself? Perhaps you were nervous and yet still somewhat excited. Maybe you were worried a bit about how it would go, but still thrilled to finally be old enough.

Recently we had a situation where Luke was running as fast as possible to get the weekly shopping done, but a dental appointment that was moved up meant that Michelle needed to leave before Luke could make it back. We had a plan, it was just going to be 10 minutes. Lunch would get started just as Michelle left, they wouldn’t finish before Luke arrived back. A small step of independency with kids who are all old enough for most families to have no concern about this.

And yet, ours is not an ordinary family. We were both independently worried that this might not go over well with the kids. You see, most kids are eager for this stage of independence and to show their maturity. However, ours are not most kids. Then it happened – a temper flared from one child to another as mom was trying to get out the door. This was quickly addressed and then there was running to catch the bus. Luke arrived home less than 10 minutes later. The kids didn’t even have time to leave the table from lunch. Yet, all of them poured out the door to both let Luke know they were home alone and to help with the groceries (which, like many families, is a bit unusual unprompted).

Then there was the aftermath. Lunch was finished, but there was unquestionably a tremendous amount of nervous energy. One child couldn’t stop laughing hysterically at things that really weren’t funny. Another child was on edge. One was unable to sit still and another was non-stop talking about nonsensical things. Watermelon was added to the lunch before chips…it slowed all the kids down as Luke also tried to address and draw to their attention that their hyperactive state was likely due to being briefly alone, but now was a time to calm down especially since they were along no longer.

What was happening? Well, one child continued to be struggling with his attitude days afterwards. As this was addressed, the answer came out. It was what we had already suspected, but was then confirmed. Being left alone, brief as it was, as much as we did everything to assure them it was short, they had an activity, and dad was on his way back, triggered something. It triggered a past and the trouble with triggers is that it all comes flooding back. This particular type of independency was not filled with excitement or thrill…other types have been…but this one brought back a nightmare.

Unfortunately, not knowing exactly what happened in the past means that, while we can guess what might trigger, we can’t always know for sure. Furthermore, life happens sometimes and as much as we try to guard against them, some triggers are unavoidable. And when it all comes flooding back, behavior changes without realization. And sometimes we don’t realize it either. This can make addressing behavioral issues a bit of a puzzle. If it is caused by a trigger, simply clamping down on the behavior won’t fix the problem and might actually cause more damage. Thankfully, in this instance, we were able to see the dots connect and open the door to discuss the trigger event. Opening up will likely take years. Just a tiny crack happened, but it was a chance to reassure that we are here, would love to listen, want to help, and yet the story is not our own and so when they are ready and only then should they feel free to share.

One baby step at a time to try to help do post flooding damage control. Thankfully the Lord brings healing even to the most flooded of places.

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What Lurks in the Darkness

LS

One thing that we have seen to be common amongst all of our kids is a significant disliking of being alone and especially in the dark. More than just a dislike, it is probably more accurate to describe it as a fear. This means that our kids won’t stay by themselves for very long. Even if they are playing on their own, they will tend to check back in to make sure nothing has happened and that we haven’t disappeared. Doing schoolwork is something they don’t want to do by themselves and would rather be in the same room as one of us. This means if someone has to leave, they will migrate to where the other person is.

An overnight trip with one of the kids showed this. While Luke had to attend a conference, the accompanying child was working on his school in the hotel room. Despite it being a sunny day, all the lights were on – in every possible location. And they stayed on, even after going to bed. Because darkness and time alone both bring unconscious concerns of danger, desertion, and can almost trigger a bit of panic.

Over much time, this can slowly change. Bedroom doors can be closed at night without causing fear or concern. Lights don’t always have to be on and they don’t always have to be in the same room all the time. These are all positive signs that kids are beginning to feel more comfortable, safe, and secure. Independent baby steps are not signs of distancing, but actually positive indicators that the environment has been established firmly enough to leave a sense of stability. And it is even more positive when it is self initiated – this shows they themselves feel at ease and not always on edge.

Despite, this, change can trigger old wounds. A new location brings back the old fears. A parent leaving for long periods of time can leave them less settled and secure. There are hundreds of factors – some of which we can anticipate, but many of which we cannot. And quite often, our children are not necessarily cognizant of this…it is more of an ingrained response that is automatic.

And yet, slowly, but surely, one day at a time, these fears can slowly subside. The darkness retracts just a bit more and the threat is slightly less imminent. There are many ways in which this reflects our spiritual journey. Old habits die hard and fears seem to constantly terrorize us. Yet our heavenly Father is incredibly patient and walks us through each phase. And step by step we move a little further away from the old and into the new.

What lurks in the darkness can be terrifying, but the light can break through and change all of this. It is gradual, doesn’t happen overnight, is sometimes two steps forward and several steps back. But it is possible to overcome. What lurks in the darkness doesn’t always have to lurk. It can be driven away through an abiding peace.

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Hitting Empty

LS

There are many interesting things that you learn when you live in another country. There are different values and things which are considered to be “normal”. One of those interesting aspects of life in Germany is that there are a few laws which are different from other places. It is illegal in Germany to run out of gas on the Autobahn. Besides leaving you stranded, you can face serious fines if your gas tank hits empty. There is a value here on not causing harm to other drivers or causing a potentially dangerous situation for other cars who are not expecting a stranded car on a highway with no speed limits. One reason why cars have warnings that flash before the tank hits empty is to avoid damage to the vehicle or a situation of being stranded.

However, what happens to us when our emotional tanks hit empty? Our lives feel a bit like the Autobahn – things are speeding around at a million miles an hour. And in an attempt to keep up with it all and to care for so many new people, we can ignore the warning signs and convince ourselves we can make it just a bit longer. This can be especially true with children who have a higher level of emotional needs. Trying to help them regulate takes a lot of emotional energy and can drain the tank much faster.

Thankfully and by the grace of God, we have managed to avoid having both of us hit empty at the same time. And while it often feels like we are living in the danger zone with warnings going off, we have had several instances over the past several months where one of us hit emotional empty. The unfortunate aspect of this is that the cars in our lives don’t slow down. In fact, it often seems like they begin zipping by at a more alarming rate. Children don’t necessarily understand emotional energy levels or how to read the gauges. In fact, what can happen with those who have been through trauma is that emotional changes can trigger things. Emotional changes may have signified danger just around the corner or brought about major pain.

Triggered kids can look and act very different. One child might feed off the emotion and become more emotional themselves. Stubbornness kicks in at a much higher rate. Pressing buttons goes into overdrive. Being uncooperative suddenly becomes almost a game. Another might suddenly begin attempting to micro analyze emotions – asking every few hours if you are angry or sad and not being willing to accept your answers. Or suddenly become more clingy when you actually need more space. Of course, the hard irony of all of this is that it becomes a negative feedback cycle. Triggered kids take more energy to handle and to attempt to regulate, but energy is the very thing that you lack and can’t seem to recover. And when the tank is completely drained, there is nothing left to give. Of course, the other problem is that when there is nothing left damage can occur and it takes longer to repair and recover.

All this means that there can be collateral damage and negative feedback cycles can be hard to break. The Lord has given us two for a reason and surrounded us with a whole team of people. Your prayers, messages, calls, helping out, bringing things, are all seemingly little actions which can have a huge impact. It is amazing how much of a boost a little fuel can give to a tank that is drained or almost so. You never know exactly where the people around you are on their emotional reserves. By God’s grace when one of us has hit empty the other has managed to step in. Of course this means that there is an even greater emotional drain on that person and its not always easy to help divert triggers. This is where the grace of the Lord can be most clearly demonstrated. We need His grace with each other so often, with our kids, and with ourselves. It also gives room to demonstrate humility and teach our kids that even parents have hard days and fail at times. Thankfully the Lord even uses that in a way that only He can do.

And there are mercies that are new each day – even for cars that are running on fumes and with warning bells going off. The Lord provides the needed strength and uses His people to help sustain those who are struggle to keep their heads above the surface of the water.

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Lurking Beneath the Surface

LS

So often there are so many things which are lurking beneath the surface, just out of sight, usually overlooked by everyone…especially those who take a quick glance. It takes time, persistence, and a bit of awareness to actually spot things which are lurking beneath the surface. While this is true of all people, it can especially manifest itself in adoption.

In many ways, adoptive journeys feel very strange and almost contradictory. On the one hand, 8 months in, it seems as though we have been a family forever. It is no longer strange to be a family of 7 and so much of it all seems normal and like it has always been this way. However, on the other hand, there are many things which happen which remind us of just how short 8 months truly is – and how permanence and true attachment are things which take long periods of time…much longer than 8 months. Often these are things lurking just beneath the surface that go unnoticed by most, including ourselves, but actually are symptomatic of other things.

One example has to do with the complexity of getting our citizenship issue resolved. Although the kids don’t know all the ins and outs, the technical details, the various agencies we are trying to solicit answers from, they do know the big picture. They know that we are trying to leave in July and that we are waiting on permission from the USA. Although they have mentioned it from time to time and asked about how things have been going, one child in particular started asking on a nearly daily basis if we had received an email from the USA yet. It seemed like just a normal question, although it was also clear that it was causing some concern and worry. A few times mention of things like us never getting to go came from this child, to which we responded it was just a matter of time and patience.

Then, one time, a sentence came out which revealed something lurking further beneath the surface. It was said in a seemingly calm, almost nonchalant manner of speech. Almost something which would have been overlooked. It started with the usual question about receiving an email. With the normal unfortunately not response, the reply returned was “Maybe we will have to go an orphanage while you all go back to the States”. We had heard several kids mention, in a joking fashion that perhaps the 3 of us would go to the States while the 4 of them went back to Brazil, which we always said wouldn’t happen and we just needed to wait more patiently. However, this was a new thing mentioned…stated just as if it were a fact…emotionless…just sort of thrown out there. And suddenly it became clear that something was lurking below the surface that we hadn’t seen for several weeks if not months.

There was something in beneath the waters in this child’s life…a threatening current which was not readily visible from up above. That perhaps this arrangement wasn’t so permanent and unbreakable. Maybe forever family was actually a bit more temporary…possibly it could all end. And in many ways this is understandable – permanence and stability are two things which were absent for nearly all their lives…change was what was more “normal” and there was plenty of change in a negative, even dangerous direction mixed in with some good changes.

Thankfully, when something like this surfaces, it not only reveals concerns, fears, hidden worries, but it offers opportunities. In particular, it gave the chance to talk with a child about how family is indeed forever and that means of all the possibly routes this already crazy situation could take us, none of them included orphanages. That our family comes first and whatever decision we make, wherever we end up going next, it will involve all 7 of us together…no separations. A concern..an anxiety…a separation fear or a separation anxiety masked in calmness, emotionless, matter of fact speech…hidden behind daily questions of if the email came yet, jokes about returning to Brazil…lurking beneath the surface. Thankfully, the Lord used this opportunity to provide assurance, reassurance, and to build upon established trust. And the interesting thing is that while this particular child has still asked from time to time about the email, it has gone from daily to perhaps once every week or even two. Once what was lurking beneath the surface was notice, it could be put to rest and a fear could be stilled.

Certainly this won’t be the end to this anxiety…it is a current which is so entrenched in the lives of those whose worlds have been torn apart in highly traumatic ways, that it will keep making its appearance. But perhaps this will help us to be better aware to look for this issue lurking below the surface a bit more. And isn’t this similar to our own spiritual adoption stories? Our actions, words, thoughts, and beliefs are often influenced by things lurking below the surface that we aren’t always even self aware of. They take time to identify, diagnose, and change. The key difference is that we have a heavenly Father who sees beyond the surface level and knows exactly what is lurking below. And He patiently, persistently, and perfectly because bringing these things to the surface…not for His benefit, but for our own awareness as a part of His sanctification.