Category: News

News

Putting out Fires

LS

Walking through any trial in life can feel like chaos completely out of control. Adoption often feels like this as every day seemingly brings new adjustments, changes, emotional challenges, etc. Ours has certainly felt like this and more so lately. One image that comes to mind is putting out fires. It feels like everything is burning at a horribly rapid rate and part of what we are trying to do is determine which fire is the most urgent. One fire is about all we can manage at a time, and trying to extinguish the most threatening and then quickly moving on to the next is exhausting.

What is even more annoying is that new fires seem to spring up spontaneously and threaten to blow into an uncontrollable blaze. The latest difficulties with citizenship and visas are one example. We thought, back in October, that we would have the citizenship appointment somewhat close to our requested time of February. We never thought we would be coming down to the wire of needing to exit Germany with no end in sight toward the citizenship process.

One of the spontaneous fires that comes along with this is the need to renew our children’s passports. They were all issued emergency passports just before we left Brazil, which only carry one year’s worth of validity. Because the process is dragging on, we realized we would have to renew these as we have less than 6 months left on them and many countries won’t issues visas without more than 6 months left. Thankfully, we got some amazing help from a Brazilian friend who gave step by step directions. Even so, with 4, it took more than 4 hours to complete the application process…and it would have easily taken 3 to 4 times as long without the amazing assist.

Another spontaneous fire that popped up was that one our children had their tax identification number cancelled for no reason. Three of them were no issue, but one was. Unfortunately, Brazilian passports require an active tax id. This had us scrambling to try to get it reinstated. Once again, our friend proved very helpful in researching how to fix this. We tried one thing, to request a reinstatement of the number. We then went to the Brazilian consulate to drop off original documents, and were told we would also need to change the names of all the kids from their birth names (which were linked to the tax id) to their new names. This had us rush home to send a flurry of emails out requesting this…only to receive a note from the tax office informing us that due to adoption, we needed to file for entirely new tax ids. Another fire that started. Thankfully, the tax office responded to this new request very quickly and in a few days we had the new tax ids which we sent to the consulate.

Thankfully this was a spontaneous fire that we managed to extinguish relatively fast. But, extinguishing fires takes tremendous amounts of energy and, in this case, time. It left us more emotionally drained and exhausted. We are thankful for all the help we received. Fighting fires in with other firefighters is an enormous blessing.

We are still in the midst of a burning building. The processing time for the passports is around 6 weeks, which will put us very close to our deadline. We still have no information from the US side regarding either transferring the open immigration visa or the N600-K citizenship application process. We are now down to a month and a half from when our certificate of coverage allowing us to work in Germany expires. There are no concrete plans in place, because none can be made. We are exploring alternative options, starting to see about back up plans, pushing for information, and praying for wisdom. The Lord has His timing, but it certainly can seem like the winds are blowing the first in the wrong direction.

Thank you so much for your prayers, concern, and encouragement! Having other firefighters surrounding us is incredibly important and essential. The Lord is graciously sustaining us through you!

News

What Lurks in the Darkness

LS

One thing that we have seen to be common amongst all of our kids is a significant disliking of being alone and especially in the dark. More than just a dislike, it is probably more accurate to describe it as a fear. This means that our kids won’t stay by themselves for very long. Even if they are playing on their own, they will tend to check back in to make sure nothing has happened and that we haven’t disappeared. Doing schoolwork is something they don’t want to do by themselves and would rather be in the same room as one of us. This means if someone has to leave, they will migrate to where the other person is.

An overnight trip with one of the kids showed this. While Luke had to attend a conference, the accompanying child was working on his school in the hotel room. Despite it being a sunny day, all the lights were on – in every possible location. And they stayed on, even after going to bed. Because darkness and time alone both bring unconscious concerns of danger, desertion, and can almost trigger a bit of panic.

Over much time, this can slowly change. Bedroom doors can be closed at night without causing fear or concern. Lights don’t always have to be on and they don’t always have to be in the same room all the time. These are all positive signs that kids are beginning to feel more comfortable, safe, and secure. Independent baby steps are not signs of distancing, but actually positive indicators that the environment has been established firmly enough to leave a sense of stability. And it is even more positive when it is self initiated – this shows they themselves feel at ease and not always on edge.

Despite, this, change can trigger old wounds. A new location brings back the old fears. A parent leaving for long periods of time can leave them less settled and secure. There are hundreds of factors – some of which we can anticipate, but many of which we cannot. And quite often, our children are not necessarily cognizant of this…it is more of an ingrained response that is automatic.

And yet, slowly, but surely, one day at a time, these fears can slowly subside. The darkness retracts just a bit more and the threat is slightly less imminent. There are many ways in which this reflects our spiritual journey. Old habits die hard and fears seem to constantly terrorize us. Yet our heavenly Father is incredibly patient and walks us through each phase. And step by step we move a little further away from the old and into the new.

What lurks in the darkness can be terrifying, but the light can break through and change all of this. It is gradual, doesn’t happen overnight, is sometimes two steps forward and several steps back. But it is possible to overcome. What lurks in the darkness doesn’t always have to lurk. It can be driven away through an abiding peace.

News

Hitting Empty

LS

There are many interesting things that you learn when you live in another country. There are different values and things which are considered to be “normal”. One of those interesting aspects of life in Germany is that there are a few laws which are different from other places. It is illegal in Germany to run out of gas on the Autobahn. Besides leaving you stranded, you can face serious fines if your gas tank hits empty. There is a value here on not causing harm to other drivers or causing a potentially dangerous situation for other cars who are not expecting a stranded car on a highway with no speed limits. One reason why cars have warnings that flash before the tank hits empty is to avoid damage to the vehicle or a situation of being stranded.

However, what happens to us when our emotional tanks hit empty? Our lives feel a bit like the Autobahn – things are speeding around at a million miles an hour. And in an attempt to keep up with it all and to care for so many new people, we can ignore the warning signs and convince ourselves we can make it just a bit longer. This can be especially true with children who have a higher level of emotional needs. Trying to help them regulate takes a lot of emotional energy and can drain the tank much faster.

Thankfully and by the grace of God, we have managed to avoid having both of us hit empty at the same time. And while it often feels like we are living in the danger zone with warnings going off, we have had several instances over the past several months where one of us hit emotional empty. The unfortunate aspect of this is that the cars in our lives don’t slow down. In fact, it often seems like they begin zipping by at a more alarming rate. Children don’t necessarily understand emotional energy levels or how to read the gauges. In fact, what can happen with those who have been through trauma is that emotional changes can trigger things. Emotional changes may have signified danger just around the corner or brought about major pain.

Triggered kids can look and act very different. One child might feed off the emotion and become more emotional themselves. Stubbornness kicks in at a much higher rate. Pressing buttons goes into overdrive. Being uncooperative suddenly becomes almost a game. Another might suddenly begin attempting to micro analyze emotions – asking every few hours if you are angry or sad and not being willing to accept your answers. Or suddenly become more clingy when you actually need more space. Of course, the hard irony of all of this is that it becomes a negative feedback cycle. Triggered kids take more energy to handle and to attempt to regulate, but energy is the very thing that you lack and can’t seem to recover. And when the tank is completely drained, there is nothing left to give. Of course, the other problem is that when there is nothing left damage can occur and it takes longer to repair and recover.

All this means that there can be collateral damage and negative feedback cycles can be hard to break. The Lord has given us two for a reason and surrounded us with a whole team of people. Your prayers, messages, calls, helping out, bringing things, are all seemingly little actions which can have a huge impact. It is amazing how much of a boost a little fuel can give to a tank that is drained or almost so. You never know exactly where the people around you are on their emotional reserves. By God’s grace when one of us has hit empty the other has managed to step in. Of course this means that there is an even greater emotional drain on that person and its not always easy to help divert triggers. This is where the grace of the Lord can be most clearly demonstrated. We need His grace with each other so often, with our kids, and with ourselves. It also gives room to demonstrate humility and teach our kids that even parents have hard days and fail at times. Thankfully the Lord even uses that in a way that only He can do.

And there are mercies that are new each day – even for cars that are running on fumes and with warning bells going off. The Lord provides the needed strength and uses His people to help sustain those who are struggle to keep their heads above the surface of the water.

News

Old Habits Die Hard

LS

Likely you have heard the saying that old habits die hard. Quite likely you have experienced this yourself. Change doesn’t come easily especially when it is something that touches on time tested routines. It makes sense too. We build up habits through much repetition and over significant time. Yet, we tend to think that they will be rewired in a moment.

And even though we know this at some level, walking through it can be another story altogether. Like so many things we have learned in this journey the distance between head and heart and hands can sometimes feel universes apart. Our expectations tend to work against us – though we might know something to be true, we still expect them to somehow be different.

This can especially be true with children who have spent more time developing habits outside of your own care. They have been developed over years and years. Sometimes well shaped and formed, but often developed through survival, self preservation, negligence, or simply because no one ever bothered to teach you any differently.

We have noticed plenty of these throughout the past couple of months. Habits of copying other people to get a laugh or gain attention. Lying about nearly everything especially if there is any sense that the truth might possibly bring trouble. Giving up when something seems too difficult or simply doesn’t want to be done. Speaking, and maybe even believing, as if everything were extreme. Doing nearly everything you know you aren’t supposed to do despite being told many times. We could go on and on.

It is very easy to get frustrated when it seems like these things are never changing. Yet, the difficulty si to remember that some of these things, perhaps all of them, were forged through traumatic backgrounds and as a means of getting by. Trust is not built overnight and in its absence, defense mechanisms are constantly in place. It may take years for these to disappear as even when the guard goes down a bit, the slightest sign of danger causes it to come shooting back up. Old habits die hard for the best of us. But they can die even harder for those who have developed them through hardship and pain.

Patience and understanding are needed. And it is amazing how much emotional energy this can take. But we are reminded that our Lord is gracious and patient with us and our habits that we cling to. He kindly sanctifies us and helps us purge them, replacing them with things in alignment with His Word and according to His Will. And we pray that He will be working in our lives to replace our habits of expectations, frustrations, acting on our desires and to exchange them with things that reflect Him and point our kids toward Him.

News

Lurking Beneath the Surface

LS

So often there are so many things which are lurking beneath the surface, just out of sight, usually overlooked by everyone…especially those who take a quick glance. It takes time, persistence, and a bit of awareness to actually spot things which are lurking beneath the surface. While this is true of all people, it can especially manifest itself in adoption.

In many ways, adoptive journeys feel very strange and almost contradictory. On the one hand, 8 months in, it seems as though we have been a family forever. It is no longer strange to be a family of 7 and so much of it all seems normal and like it has always been this way. However, on the other hand, there are many things which happen which remind us of just how short 8 months truly is – and how permanence and true attachment are things which take long periods of time…much longer than 8 months. Often these are things lurking just beneath the surface that go unnoticed by most, including ourselves, but actually are symptomatic of other things.

One example has to do with the complexity of getting our citizenship issue resolved. Although the kids don’t know all the ins and outs, the technical details, the various agencies we are trying to solicit answers from, they do know the big picture. They know that we are trying to leave in July and that we are waiting on permission from the USA. Although they have mentioned it from time to time and asked about how things have been going, one child in particular started asking on a nearly daily basis if we had received an email from the USA yet. It seemed like just a normal question, although it was also clear that it was causing some concern and worry. A few times mention of things like us never getting to go came from this child, to which we responded it was just a matter of time and patience.

Then, one time, a sentence came out which revealed something lurking further beneath the surface. It was said in a seemingly calm, almost nonchalant manner of speech. Almost something which would have been overlooked. It started with the usual question about receiving an email. With the normal unfortunately not response, the reply returned was “Maybe we will have to go an orphanage while you all go back to the States”. We had heard several kids mention, in a joking fashion that perhaps the 3 of us would go to the States while the 4 of them went back to Brazil, which we always said wouldn’t happen and we just needed to wait more patiently. However, this was a new thing mentioned…stated just as if it were a fact…emotionless…just sort of thrown out there. And suddenly it became clear that something was lurking below the surface that we hadn’t seen for several weeks if not months.

There was something in beneath the waters in this child’s life…a threatening current which was not readily visible from up above. That perhaps this arrangement wasn’t so permanent and unbreakable. Maybe forever family was actually a bit more temporary…possibly it could all end. And in many ways this is understandable – permanence and stability are two things which were absent for nearly all their lives…change was what was more “normal” and there was plenty of change in a negative, even dangerous direction mixed in with some good changes.

Thankfully, when something like this surfaces, it not only reveals concerns, fears, hidden worries, but it offers opportunities. In particular, it gave the chance to talk with a child about how family is indeed forever and that means of all the possibly routes this already crazy situation could take us, none of them included orphanages. That our family comes first and whatever decision we make, wherever we end up going next, it will involve all 7 of us together…no separations. A concern..an anxiety…a separation fear or a separation anxiety masked in calmness, emotionless, matter of fact speech…hidden behind daily questions of if the email came yet, jokes about returning to Brazil…lurking beneath the surface. Thankfully, the Lord used this opportunity to provide assurance, reassurance, and to build upon established trust. And the interesting thing is that while this particular child has still asked from time to time about the email, it has gone from daily to perhaps once every week or even two. Once what was lurking beneath the surface was notice, it could be put to rest and a fear could be stilled.

Certainly this won’t be the end to this anxiety…it is a current which is so entrenched in the lives of those whose worlds have been torn apart in highly traumatic ways, that it will keep making its appearance. But perhaps this will help us to be better aware to look for this issue lurking below the surface a bit more. And isn’t this similar to our own spiritual adoption stories? Our actions, words, thoughts, and beliefs are often influenced by things lurking below the surface that we aren’t always even self aware of. They take time to identify, diagnose, and change. The key difference is that we have a heavenly Father who sees beyond the surface level and knows exactly what is lurking below. And He patiently, persistently, and perfectly because bringing these things to the surface…not for His benefit, but for our own awareness as a part of His sanctification.

News

Rebooting

LS

It has been a long time, too long, since we last updated. That certainly doesn’t mean that life has not had anything worth sharing. Quite to the contrary, life has been so busy that we have hardly had any time for anything else. This has been unfortunate as we have enjoyed keeping you up to date and have heard so many of you share how much these posts have meant to you.

So, this is our attempt to reboot…hopefully somewhat more successfully. Thankfully, with more than 3 months unpublished, there is much to share and no end to resources.

Perhaps one of the biggest developments we have been facing is how to get into the USA on schedule. We are rapidly approaching the 5 year deadline set by governmental agreements between the USA and Germany. We have to leave at the 5 year mark to avoid losing our social security for exceeding the short term worker definitions. This date for us is July 15th. In addition, we have been struggling to get the citizenship process sorted out to allow our children into the USA.

In October, upon returning home, we immediately filed the N600-K applications which are designed for children of USA citizens who are living abroad. Unfortunately, our requested date range of February for a citizenship appointment came and went with no news. As March rolled around, with our deadline starting to loom nearer, we tried to reach out to USCIS (US Customs and Immigration Services) to get more information. We then discovered that one of the downsides of advanced technology and AI is that it is impossible to talk to an actual person, and computers don’t care about your particular circumstances.

This led us to reach out to congressmen for help to try and figure out the status of our case and any potential time estimates. Thankfully, one congressman’s office proved very helpful and willing to track down any possible information. They advocated on our behalf with USCIS and started raising some concerns about our situation. The USCIS congressional liaison began asking why we had applied the way we did, how long we intended to be stateside, and why we had so many active applications. It was then that we learned that we had an open immigration visa at the consulate in Brazil which has apparently never been closed (as it should have been) when we returned to Germany. We were also told we had a non immigration visa open in Frankfurt, which was truly puzzling as we had never applied for this.

After more back and forth and assistance from the congressman’s office, we learned that Frankfurt had no record of anything in our name. Lifeline, our adoption agency, attempted to help us with the situation in Brazil, but were told that only USCIS could now close the open visa applications and the embassy wouldn’t do anything without them requesting and initiating it. Lifeline encouraged us and helped us get connected to a lawyer who specializes in adoption and immigration cases.

Last week we were able to talk with the lawyer and learn that N600-K applications are designed for people who reside overseas. Given our situation of going on home assignment, we would need to make sure we did not remain stateside for more than 6 months or we would risk having the citizenship canceled and any passports revoked. On the other hand, the immigration visas (IH-3) are designed for people permanently residing stateside and if we went that route we would need to make sure we stayed stateside longer than 6 months or risk having citizenship cancelled and passports revoked. The lawyer advised us that the best chance of us meeting our deadlines would be to request the immigration visas be transferred to Germany and completed here. Theoretically this should be a relatively simple and straightforward step.

At the lawyers advice we reached out to the National Visa Center (NVC) to request the case transfer. We also asked Lifeline to help us advocate for this transfer. Lifeline then messaged the NVC, the consulate in Brazil, and USCIS. Although we never heard back (it is amazingly difficult and disappointing how hard it is for US citizens to get any answers about their own case), thankfully Lifeline did. After jumping through several hoops to get things in exactly the format NVC wanted (including having to send 4 separate emails – one for each child), NVC finally came back with the answer that once they transferred the case to the consulate in Brazil in July, 2025, any changes or updates needed to be handled directly by the consulate and not NVC. The consulate came back to Lifeline and repeated that they will not do anything with the case (transferring or otherwise) unless requested to do so by USCIS. USCIS responded to Lifeline to say that these case file numbers submitted applied to aspects which were transferred from USCIS to the NVC and that any questions about them should be directed now to the NVC. An endless loop of finger pointing.

We are now awaiting further counsel from the lawyer about best next steps and options. Waiting for the N600-K to go through has an unknown time frame, but almost certainly after July. It also comes with a shorter time stateside than we initially intended. But the immigration visa transfer has proven to be more difficult than it should be. As you can see, we could use prayers for wisdom and much guidance. Planning is extremely difficult and there is much uncertainty with looming deadlines – above all it would be helpful to simply know what our best backup and next step needs to be.

We look forward to rebooting and Lord willing, sharing more soon (we promise in less time than 3 months :))!

News

Changing Paces

LS

The Christmas season brings with it a mad rush that culminates is an exhausted break. For adults, we are used to the rhythm and anticipate it. However, for kids, the anticipation of Christmas can bring with much change and change is both exciting and disruptive. No one wants to go to school, but after a day or two, the change in schedule and the additional unoccupied time can suddenly leave kids feeling bored and out of their routine. Thankfully we can also see some progress being made – the feelings of boredom were definitely present, but caused less tension and stress than in the past. This go around it approached more of a “normal” level of complaints due to boredom.

And with Christmas came things which could help occupy attention. The gifts were exciting and much anticipated. We also managed to keep it at a good level and avoided overstimulation due to too much excitement. The slight snowfall also helped occupy attentions as our kids had never seen snow. This meant that Christmas was a mix of opening things inside and then playing outside. We have learned that as energy levels rise, moving kids outdoors is very beneficial.

We have been thankful for the change of pace that was much needed. In fact, it hard to say if students or teachers appreciate breaks more. The opportunities to school kids at home while we await official instructions has been very beneficial. We have already been able to make up a lot of ground in many areas that were lacking. However, there is no question that this adds a lot of additional work to our plates. Not having to teach, plan, oversee, and correct has been a nice break. It has allowed us to spend more time just hanging out as a family and even dad was able to reduce some of his workload. The lack of posting is evidence of things we have put a pause to in order to slow down some. And as for most of you, slowing down is necessary from time to time…and we often don’t realize the pace we have been running until we take a break.

Without a doubt the year closed out with much to be thankful for and much change. In many ways it is hard to believe we have been a family of 7 for 4 months. In some ways it has felt much longer than that and in other ways much shorter. Every day brings new strides, new stresses, new successes. Looking back and comparing brings encouragement even as we feel overwhelmed with how much still lies ahead of us. The Christmas day service and potluck saw us staying until the end instead of leaving early due to approaching meltdowns. This is a remarkable difference in just 2 months of potluck times. Kids are also getting more settled as is evidenced by a significant reduction in overanalyzing emotional states and a little less mischievous activity…at least that which was due to stress.

A New Year brings with it plenty of challenges. We still don’t have residence permits resolved. Nothing has ever been received regarding schooling – and while we are thankful to be able to school at home, we also are needing to walk the balance of not knowing, not asking, and also explaining to other groups (like the immigration office) why we don’t have a school enrollment paper. We are still waiting on the US citizenship process and are praying this can take place in January. Luke has a week long trip coming up (that kids are already speaking about and negatively anticipating) and then another 5 day trip to close out January. We will slowly need to start turning our attention to closing things out in Munich – downsizing, packing, etc. And with this will also come setting things up for the time in the US.

With all that lies behind and all we anticipate ahead, we are thankful for the guiding hand of the Lord. We know He sovereignly guides all that occurs and we trust He will continue to lead us and strengthen our family. The works of the Lord are great and we are blessed to see them firsthand.

News

The Bus has Arrived

LS

At long last, after much anticipation and impatient waiting we were able to pick up our new car on Friday. Having a vehicle which can fit the whole family after 2 months without this is an enormous blessing. Not only can all 7 of us fit, but we can fit comfortably. The car feels twice as large and it is significantly larger which will take some adjusting to – especially when it comes to parking in already microscopic European parking spaces.

First order of business was getting the tires changed and putting winter tires on the vehicle. Thankfully, Luke was able to get a same day appointment and was told it was the last day before the holiday break. When preparing to pay, he was asked if he had the bus and if this was a company car. Nothing indicates how much we stick out as different like innocent comments along these lines. Thankfully the “bus” does fit into our driveway, albeit just barely.

The family was very excited to be in the new car and it is amazing how much car technology has changed in the last 13 years. It makes our old car look like it is from a different century. We are very thankful for the Lord’s provision for our needs in this way! It opens up a new set of possibilities for us as a family. We are so thankful for all the help we received along the way – major assistance in purchasing the vehicle at an extremely good price, many who offered us use of their vehicles while we were waiting, others providing us rides to and from various things, etc.

Adapting has been a term characteristic of our family. A bit like our car, we have promises that something grand is on its way and will arrive soon. In the short term, we are finding ways to make things work, with significant help along the journey. We trust that one day we will look back and feel like the jump in progress is a bit like moving from a 2013 vehicle to a 2025 car. There are already some great signs of forward progress. Things which show more of a settling in, less of a feeling of unsettled and walking on eggshells, and less fear of losing it all or unable to trust. We still have a long ways to go with each of these, but we are thankful to think about where we have come from. The Lord is graciously guiding each step forward.

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The Mysteries of Life

LS

Life is quite mysterious in many different ways. It is even more mysterious when we parachute into the middle of the story. This means that we have skipped the introduciton and the opening chapters. However, we are priviledged to be a part of writing the middle and altering the potential endings.

Like with many other things related to adoption, many of these things are universally true of children – just with a few additional wrinkles and somewhat on steroids. One of the mysteries of life which all parents can relate to is why do children get a boost of super hyperjuice when they are tired? And when and why does that change to an exhausted drain of all levels of energy as an adult? It seems that the end of each day has us struggle to just finish out whereas our kids are suddenly bouncing off the walls. In fact it can feel very much like the sugar high rush that parents fear from this time of year. However, the difference is that sugar is usually not the culprit. Instead, it is the product of children who are in a state of being wound up too tightly. For them, living in a heightened state of stress, fear, anxiety, and fight or flight syndrome means that the end of the day can often look like energetic crash. Interestingly enough mom and dad are (hopefully) temporary experiencing a similar thing…but rather than an energy fuel ours looks more like a rapid energy dump. In fact, if anyone could bottle what kids experience, they could make a serious dime replacing energy drinks with a rush far superior.

Another of the mysteries of life is the constantly changing interests. It is almost as if our kids become hyper fixated on a few particular things when then suddenly seem to drop out of favor randomly. The first month it was going to the park every day and now it is playing in our yard and almost never going to the park. Certain fruits and vegetables are in high demand and then suddenly they start piling up from lack of interest. It is understandable that in a world of constantly changing factors, adoptive kids will latch onto the familiar with an almost death like grip. With time, these things will lose their appeal and be replaced or as trust and time pass by, simply be held more loosely.

Now all of this likely sound familiar if you have had experience with kids. But what might not be so familiar is seeing this amongst children who range in age from 9-almost 15. Normally these things are present in children about half that age range in strong doses. This shows how adoptive children are often emotionally and socially years behind their biological age. Age simply is a number which cannot be held onto too tightly with adoption. It means we need to carefully temper our expectations. This also means that we are constantly on the look out to try to gain clues as to where are children are, what might be triggering them, and how to help them make up for lost ground.

Thankfully the Lord continues to uphold us and give us the strength we need. We are also so thankful to see signs of kids getting more comfortable and established. Little indications that their shields are dropping just a bit. The loss that is the cause of all adoptive stories takes serious time to heal. Children learn to cover up pains and hide emotions. Well meaning people think and speak about how wonderful their life is now and how grateful they must be…and they are. But this can add to the layers of cover up and feeling that releasing negative emotions is not allowed. This can cause a stuffing and ignoring the hurt, pain, and significant loss that brings a child to the point of adoption. Time and patiently building trust are some of the greatest tools in this journey. And the mysteries remain of what lies behind the massive question mark that exists before we entered the scene. Thankfully there are no question marks for the Lord and He knows every detail. And we trust He is working to bring about healing, bonding, attachment, and redemption.

News

One Day at a Time

LS

It has been a bit longer than we intended since our last post. That isn’t because nothing has happened, but rather so much has been happening that carving out time is not always easy. Our days seem to fill up faster than anticipated and we feel like the things we accomplish always dwarf the things we need to get done.

We are living in the tyranny of the urgent and trying to include rest and relaxation amongst the things we desperately need to accomplish. One day at a time seems to be all we can keep in our scope. Thankfully, the Lord continues to sustain us through each day, but we also look forward to the time in which we will be able to have a longer view in mind. There are still so many unknowns and things left up in the air – residence permits, school situations, citizenship processes, etc. It adds an extra layer of uncertainty that makes planning difficult.

Over the last few days we were blessed to spend very brief time with grandparents. It was a blessing and great encouragement to see them. We enjoyed catching up and having conversations that didn’t feel strained or broken due to language barriers and which were not simply revolving around needs or the interests of children. It was encouraging to hear insights from an outside perspective. One of the challenges with anything difficult is that you can get so focused on the immediate that you lose sight of the longer term. The forest can disappear because of all the trees. It can be quite complex to notice the improvements and changes because they seem to be tiny steps…but over time tiny steps add up in a big way. We were also thankful to have great support, love, and care. We often forget that we need this too. It is a bit like the responses to emergencies – all attentions, efforts, and emotions are focused around what is most pressing. This means those giving urgent care can lose sight of their own needs and the drain that caregiving is having on them. So it is a blessing when someone else comes along focusing on their needs and helping them to stay in optimal shape.

Each day looks slightly different for us, but we have gotten some patterns established. Early morning exercise for the boys, off the school for Elijah, breakfast for everyone else, and then school work – girls with mom, boys with dad. There is a lot of catching up which is going well, but also requires more attention and energy to be able to execute. Study skills have to be taught and learned. Lessons include how to stay focused, concentrate, not lose your cool or allow frustration to dominate (and no, this doesn’t only just apply to students). Mom tries to multitask school with upkeep, while dad tries to juggle ministry and school work. So far, sermons haven’t had Portuguese terms or mathematical functions appear, but it is difficult to feel like we are running two different brains simultaneously. Afternoons provide opportunities for play, cleaning, work, grocery shopping, making up schoolwork not accomplished, dental visits (we have felt like we have been living in the orthodontist’s office…), and never-ending laundry. All too soon dinner preparation takes place, showers have to be had, food is consumed, clean up occurs, family devotions, and then bedtime…after that mom and dad finally have a few minutes to breathe and try to ignore all the many things that still have to get done, but there is no remaining energy to do. Then it is collapse in bed and repeat…

The Lord continues to be gracious to us and show His graciousness through His people. We are so thankful for all of our children and how God is molding us together as a family. It isn’t easy, but then again, diamonds are formed under intense and so we are trusting all of this will produce a valuable precious unit too. Thank you for your continued prayers for us!