Author: LS

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Seared into our Brain

LS

In light of today, a question most Americans still remember hearing or asking is, where were you on September 11th, 2001? Many of us still have the image of television screens showing the horrifying live images of a plane flying into the World Trade Center and the buildings collapsing. There are certain events which have such a strong impact that they are seared into our brains. We can remember aspects of them vividly as if it were yesterday and yet other aspects are strangly fuzzy and missing.

One of the things we have been learning and discovering is that trauma can also work that way. Medical experts have demonstrated this and the book The Body Keeps the Score is an excellent recounting of the way that trauma can impact us physically even though we might not be aware of it (and no, we aren’t getting promotional paybacks yet…but perhaps if you buy enough copies we might get enough to pay our street parking fees…over 9 dollars an hour…not to mention the “fast food” “cheap” dinner for our family of seven…done with that rant except to say maybe we need to do one of those puppy eye hungry kids pictures as a means of motivating financial support…). It is fascinating how God has designed our bodies with such capacities.

However, we have been learning about this from the instruction manual of life. And despite knowing, reading, and even talking about it, we are still caught of guard when we experience it. Not too long along some of the kids approached me with the question – do you remember when we said in Brazil that one day you would get tired of us and stop liking us? Now, my brain is not nearly as quick as it ought to be (perhaps having 5 kids has burned brain cells in addition to whiting hair…). This means that often I have to ask kids to repeat themselves…not for the reason they think (that I don’t understand the language). It is because I am usually deep in thought in one language and then being spoken to very rapidly in a second language about a topic completely unrelated and with no context whatsoever (although you would think marriage would have prepared me better for this…). This was no exception. I had to change the language of my brain first and then try to recall which conversation this was referring to and then think about where this was coming from while also making sure I didn’t misunderstand any of the words.

Once the kids repeated the same thing and I was sure that what I thought I heard the first time was indeed correct, I said yes, not sure where this was going. The follow up was – well has that happened yet? Do you still like us?

Likely this was brought on in part by us reaching the one year anniversary and celebrating our family day. And just like for 9/11, these moments can remind us of something seared into our brains. Still, it was unexpected. Yes, we know this can be a haunting, persistent issue for adoptive children. We have even written about it many times. But, we don’t think about it ever because it has never been a consideration (perhaps we have been tempted to put them in handcuffs until they are adults to make sure no more mischievousness takes place when we are at our wits end…). And yet, comments like this remind us that there is still a monster which adoptive kids battle and quite often more frequently than we realize. Because for every time they are brave enough to actually ask the question, you have to wonder how often have they never said anything?

Time, they say, heals and wounds. And yet, sometimes time is actually the culprit. A time of trauma can sear a brain and a life…it can be repaired by the grace of God for nothing is beyond His healing touch. Yet, it is not necessarily easy, quick, or even guaranteed. But we pray that as His grace allows, seared trauma can gently be reassured, lovingly bandaged, and carefully replaced with truths that stem from His Truth.

And how often is it that we have the same lurking fear which we take to our heavenly Father? Has enough time passed yet for you to stop liking me? Now that you see me and all my flaws? Have you grown tired of me? The amazing thing is that He knows ever detail from the start and He loves His children despite that with a love that is not based in us, but grounded in Him.

And on that note – this past Sunday we were thankful to be reminded of that truth from Scripture. The pastor of the combined Tain and Fearn church preached a fantastic sermon on the cost of our salvation. We would love to encourage you to listen to it to also get to know Alistair! One of the amazing things was how well he weaved it together with the morning sermon Luke preached…you would have thought Alistair had written both sermons because they were so seamlessly combined. Thus, you can find the link to both and may this be an encouragement for fearful hearts who have a sinking fear that our adopted Father might perhaps tire of us one day.

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The Light at the End of the Tunnel

LS

This past week has been a big one. We began the school year and don’t worry, there are all kinds of stories that have already come out of that which you will eventually get to read. Homeschooling has all kinds of highlights, but it is not without its own share of struggles. And getting back into the swing of things is difficult for students and teachers. We were thankful to get full curriculum this go around and have some good plans in place…now for the whole part about execution…

But beyond that, we also received the news that our citizenship application has be fully reviewed and that an interview could be scheduled. We now have a date of November 18th to be in California. We have received official confirmation from USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services) itself and with that were able to begin work to book plane tickets from Munich, make plans to transition from Scotland to Munich right before this time, and then start getting things set up for the time stateside. It is a blessing to finally see some level of light at the end of this tunnel we have been traveling in. Our plans have been upended, rerouted, completely mangled along the way, but God’s plan has never changed.

We have been amazed to see how the Lord has provided as well. Our adoption fundraising efforts via Lifesong were much more than we expected. In fact, we thought we would have a large surplus of unused (and unusable by us) funds earmarked solely for adoption expenses. However, the lawyer fees we have needed to pay have almost exactly matched the huge surplus we thought we would have – it seems that someone else knew exactly what we would need well before we did! We are thankful for a sovereign God who provided the exact amount to cover these fairly massive unexpected fees!

So what are our next steps? Well, now that we have the citizenship appointment, we are about to launch the visa application process which our lawyer has already done. We have an appointment in London in mid October. We will continue to minister, serve, and engage in Hilton, Scotland until around the second week of November. Then, a few days before our flight out of Munich, we will begin the travel from Hilton to Munich. This will allow us to store things we have brought with us for Scotland, but won’t need in the states. Pick up any things which we might need and had stored, and also leave our car with friends. We will then travel to the states, drop off the bulk of our luggage before take just what we need for the onward journey to California. Once the hearing is completed and citizenship is official, we will be able to apply for passports. We will also have 6 months (maximum) in the states in order to spend time with family and ministry partners and to see the Lord bring in the additional monthly support (around $2,000 per month) we need to meet our growing needs and to replace support lost over time.

We are thankful for how the Lord continues to guide each step! He has been and continues to be our light even in the midst of the tunnel. But we are also thankful He is leading us to the other side of this crazy citizenship journey…one that will be 13 months in the making…

News

Marking Milestones

LS

Yesterday, September 1st, marked a significant milestone. We crossed the one year mark of our “gotcha” day for our Brazilian kids. It is hard to believe only a year has passed as in some senses it feels like it has been much more time than that. But in other senses it is hard to believe that a year has already passed since it seems like only yesterday we were walking into a government building and nervously shaking hands and giving first hugs to our new kids. So much has happened in that time.

To make the day special, we decided to take a school break (although, not to worry, we accounted for this and started a day earlier in order to keep the balance of school days). Our kids were thrilled to not have to engage in subjects especially since the start to the school year is always a challenge. We did some research and found the closest Brazilian steakhouse and yes, we were that crazy family who drove the 3 hours to Aberdeen to eat at the rodizio (all you can eat meats which come to the table carried by waiters). Truth be told, our kids would have probably been thrilled (maybe even more so) with a trip to Burger King. However, we hope that we are building memories at the same time. We were thankful that the restaurant was quite good (especially considering the price tag and travel time) and also not too crowded. The kids all got some feijoao (a traditional black bean stew served over rice), which reminded them of Brazil.

One of the important things to do, from time to time, is to reflect back. It helps us try to keep perspective and not lose hope. If you were to read some of our early posts, it is remarkable how much has changed in just a year’s time. Our last trip to a very fancy, very expensive, and very crowded rodizio in Curitiba was stressful, to say the least. Kids ate in under 25 minutes (after a 2 hour wait) and then were wanting to leave right away. They had almost no meat (the expensive stuff at the restaurant) and only consumed a bit from the salad bar. We went to a park later to immediately be met with a chorus of “I’m hungry!”. This go around we enjoyed over an hour at the restaurant. And, while we are still trying to convince our kids there is plenty of food and they don’t need to stuff their faces like there is the risk of food disappearing, nothing felt rushed or stressed. That is an enormous improvement from a time in which going to a restaurant was one of the most stressful things to do.

We even managed to find cans of Guarana, the favorite soft drink of Brazil. The kids were thrilled to get the taste of that after a year of absence. Sometimes the small things can make a huge difference. We were grateful for the chance to remember a monumental moment. This is a milestone which reminds us that God is gracious, faithful, and good. One year down, many more to go. There is much yet to come and to be done, but we are in awe of all that the Lord has already done and His grace to us. We never thought we would be here and we never thought we would make it here. We are convinced we are a special kind of crazy…but thankfully the Lord sustains and upholds these types of people too! Now we just need those “I survived the first 365 days” T-Shirts to arrive…but in all seriousness, we are thankful for the Lord’s provision and how many people He has used in the process! Here is to the next 365 days of experiencing God’s daily mercies!

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The Many Faces of Anxiety

LS

I am sure you have had the sensation sometime in your life: nervous energy. There is something happening that you are nervous and anxious about and you can’t seem to keep still. Sometimes you are aware of it and sometimes habit just seems to kick in. Like how suddenly the house can get a deep cleaning when it otherwise is a struggle to just tidy up…maybe we need a bit more nervous energy around. Of course, it is quite ironic, that at times when we actually need motivation, none of this energy seems present. And not all nervous energy is funneled toward constructive things. In fact, often times kids can direct it toward things which are destructive. They don’t know what to do with the nerves, they are highly stressed and anxious, and the best way they know how to resolve it is to do something that will grab your attention – even if it is in a negative sense.

This is something all of us have felt and learned to deal with…or perhaps not learned which might explain why things suddenly get very organized, straightened, and in place before any sort of speaking engagements…perhaps we ought to alert the venues to save the cleaning until 20 minutes before the start?!? The challenge is that most kids have not learned how to handle or even identify this. And that is magnified in two senses for adoptive children. In the first place, no one has helped them learn how to handle and regulate themselves in such times. And in the second place, there are often more things that can set off their triggers and leave them feeling anxious.

As mentioned, the results of nervous energy are not always bad. It can turn into something productive which can then cause the underlying issue, anxiety, fear, worry, to get missed because the outcome was so good. Take our recent visit from our social worker. We have a fantastic social worker who we are incredibly grateful for. She has been a wonderful source of help and encouragement and has only done one other, very positive, house visit with all the kids. Her most recent trip seemed entirely normal. We all picked her up at the airport, she was having nice small talk with the kids, the afternoon seemed otherwise normal. While the kids were playing, we went into the living room to talk and shut the door to avoid sensitive topics getting heard out of context.

Part way through the time, the vacuum cleaner started going in operation. And not just for a little bit, but it moved from one room to the next. Then it went upstairs as our house got a new facelift. When we finished our chat and moved into the kitchen to start dinner prep, all the kids were in the corner of the dining room (which is not where they normally play) – the room closest to the living room. While they weren’t by the door or trying to eavesdrop, they were all as close as possible, hardly making a sound as they quietly colored…you would have thought we had 5 angels do a quick body exchange for the evening!

Blink and you miss it. Everything seems in order. The house was clean and quiet. The kids were unusually calm and no one appeared panicked. But, you see, this is one of the many faces of anxiety. Not because there was any perceptible threat…it was a disruption to the normal routine, a somewhat unknown person, a conversation in private, and connected to the adoption…not in any negative way or in the sense of potential for dissolvement. But it triggered something and the nervous energy came out in a way that could easily be overlooked. Nerves are funny things and kids often are far less in tune to be able to notice them. If you ask the kids how they felt or if everything was all right, they would have said “normal” and “yes”. Kids have a hard enough time labeling and identifying emotions, more so when no one has been there to lovingly guide them through this process.

Thankfully not every day contains a threat or leaves a child anxious. But you might be surprised at how often it does occur. And the sad thing is that in some ways because it occurs so often it becomes normal which makes it even harder for kids to spot and can sometimes make it harder for adults too…because it doesn’t seem abnormal…but maybe that is more a sign that a child is stuck in a high state of anxiety rather than that they are actually just “like this”. They say time heals all wounds…but we tend to think, expect, and anticipate that time will also fly by. And when it comes to anxiety that has been developed over years, it will likely take as long if not longer to undo.

But each day provides new opportunities and new grace. Most glorious is the truth that the Lord is the One who is pictured as the Rock, the sure point, the stronghold, the place of refuge. It is our prayer that anxious hearts will learn to find rest and peace in Him…both young and old ones 🙂

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An Extra Rinse Cycle

LS

Life in Scotland continues to be filled with adventures. Learning a new culture and adapting to life always takes some time and isn’t without its share of hiccups along the way. As a large family, we seem to constantly be running loads of laundry just to try to keep up. The best way to get them dried is to hang them up on the clothes line just outside our kitchen window. With the sea breeze, they tend to dry rather quickly. However, on several occasions, despite checking the weather app, we have hung up laundry only to discover that they were going to get a couple of extra rinse cycles. Thankfully, other than delaying the drying process, there is no significant harm from getting a few extra rinses from nature in.

These unexpected delays are things which reflect the nature of our family. Many times it feels like we take a few steps forward only to discover we had to take a massive step backward. Transition and uncertainty can cause regression to take place. Accidents, falling back into old fears, worrying about emotional states again, struggling to attach to more than one individual once more…it can feel like we are stuck in a rinse cycle and unable to get fully dry. However, thankfully, these are things which don’t cause any long term damage. They do test our patience significantly and our resolve as well. But they also provide opportunities to revisit some of these challenges and think about how to resolve them once more.

Old habits do die hard and they seem to pop back up when life seems unstable. Change doesn’t happen overnight for any of us and yet all of us want it to and almost expect it to. Then come the unexpected extra rinse cycles and if we aren’t careful we can be on the verge of collapse. But if and when we are able to step back and gain some perspective and some fresh air, we will hopefully see that a few additional rinse cycles aren’t the end of the world even if it means waiting longer for the end result.

And when you think about it, regression makes a lot of sense. Transitions have not always been favorable. Children who were constantly worried about the emotional state of their parents or who were taken to an orphanage under the impression they were going somewhere else or who suddenly lost their culture, their country, and what was their identity are bound to relapse into patterns of defense, protection, comfort, or survival. And often this happen subconsciously. It can even happen when the transition is for the better…because in the moment it might be terrifying or it might vividly recall one that was terrifying. This is not, as is often the refrain in these posts, something unique to adoption. All children will take steps backward when a major transition occurs. Perhaps the difference is that the step backward can be a bit larger in part because emotional age is already way behind biological age. Perhaps it is that children with secure homes and secure attachments will often grab onto those whom bring a sense of calm and security in such times. But for children coming from insecure homes with no healthy attachments, who or what do they grab onto? And can you imagine feeling like the world is collapsing around you and there is no one to hold your hand or wrap you in an embrace?

So a few extra rinses are to be expected and despite the rainy days, God doesn’t flood the earth. The sun will come out and the clothes will eventually dry…at least so we have been told 😀

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The Hidden Memory

LS

God is truly an incredible Designer. All you have to do is look around in nature to see beauty of the most spectacular sort. We are surrounded by it in rolling hills, the sound of seagulls, the lush green of pastures, the bleating of lambs, the view of the seashore. But it isn’t just creation, it is how He has designed us as creatures. Our bodies are a wonderous mystery…something that has been the subject of study and curiosity for several thousands of years and we still have failed to uncover all the mysteries of the human body.

All you have to do to get a small taste of this is to consider how much our body does at a subconscious level. You have a whole military defense unit which is operating apart from your awareness. You have alarm systems and emergency mechanisms which automatically kick into place when they are triggered. None of this occurs with deliberate engagement on your part, these are all systems which are put into place to protect us from imminent danger.

These responses of ours are so well tuned and honed, that studying them can yield a wealth of ideas for how to design other such response systems which can be practically employed. We are most grateful for these things especially when emergencies are upon us. The ability to react in a split second without thought can be the difference between life and death.

However, as marvelous as these things are, trouble can arise when our responses get tested in ways they never should or when they get stuck in the on position for too long or too often. They weren’t designed for such action and, as studying God’s creation has shown, every action has an opposite and equal reaction. Leaving an emergency defense system designed to rapidly burn energy in order to produce hyperawareness, hyperresponse, and hyperaction on or flipping the switch too frequently is akin to revving a car engine without respite. A few times won’t cause much harm, but overuse will lead to burn out or engine failure.

This is where trauma can enter in and make a horrible mess out of a glorious design. This is especially true when it comes to children as it interrupts the programing years, the years of development, the years in which it is easiest to impact the systems in place. Imagine a child who has faced a serious threat or a devastating loss. You have likely had this happen to you – how long did it take you to recover? What did your body do to defend itself or rejuvenate itself? That is after years of having established solid foundations. But what might that look like if you never were able to establish any secure foundations? And what would it look like if this wasn’t a one time occurrence, but repetitive?

As you might imagine, this might lead to your body developing certain defense mechanisms, survival tactics, and lifestyle routines which you aren’t cognizantly aware of or fully understanding. This might simply seem normal to you or the way you have always been and you don’t know any differently. This means you wouldn’t be able to explain it, address it, reprogram it, or heal from it.

This is where things can get really tricky, really fast. Now these are not things unique to adoption and not all adoptive kids have this or have it to the same extent. But they are more likely to be a part of an adoption story especially since all adoptions begin with some level of loss…how high that level is can very greatly, but all of them begin with loss of biological family minimally. For adoptive parents, this is where life can feel like a massive jigsaw puzzle with no box top to help guide the way.

Are outbursts simply a “normal” response or are they due to hidden traumas that have developed mechanisms which are getting triggered by something? Is compulsive behavior mischievousness or masking a survival technique? Is sleeping without waking rested due to growth, hormones, stage of life, or is it a sign of a body which is unable to fully rest because it has been stuck in hyperalert mode due to ever present dangers?

As you might imagine, the way one answers these questions can drastically impact the approach one takes to resolving them. If I know my child is simply going through a stage of life or something particularly stressful, I might respond by trying to resolve the immediate issue at hand – fatigue, emotional imbalance, etc. However, if this is an unconscious response programmed in, it means that simply treating the symptoms won’t actually fix the issue and might leave it either unresolved or reinforce the danger of dealing with the root issues.

The body has a hidden memory system that stores, files, analyzes, and on that basis adjusts, defends, programs, builds. And this points to God’s marvelous design…even our best efforts haven’t been able to match this yet! But it also means that our bodies might remember and react to that which we aren’t aware of any more or have actually subconsciously blocked out of memory (another amazing ability to attempt to self heal).

With the passage of time, patterns start to slowly emerge and behavioral norms are getting more established. This helps us to start to see what might be biological, what might be temporal, and what might be traumatic. But, that being said, we often feel like we are fumbling about in the dark trying to locate any small glimmer of light without tripping over anything or accidentally destroying any fragile elements. Prayers are much needed and very, very much appreciated.

And we are thankful for the amazing support of so many! The ongoing prayers are sustaining us in ways you will likely never know and ways we don’t even fully see (although what we do see leaves us in humble gratitude). People taking time to check in on us and see how we are doing…who want to listen and empathize. An adoption agency who has been phenomenally supportive, overflowing with resources, and a social worker who has been incredibly encouraging, praying for us, and caring for us all. Friends and mentors who are willing to drop everything and spend hours with us, letting us verbally (and emotionally) vomit. And the Lord directing us through other to very helpful resources: The Bible…which not only upholds us, guides us, but also keeps proving to be the greatest wisdom applicable to every situation; learning through exposure…there is so much we are finding our kids teaching us (even though they have no clue), curiosity and patient examination yields some remarkable observations, outcomes, and insights…and other resources from those who have also studied or walked a similar road (The Connected Child or our most recent acquisition The Body Keeps the Score). Thank you for caring for us as we seek to do our best, despite our own weaknesses and failings, to care for God’s fearfully and wonderfully made image bearers.

Finally, as a tagline bonus (especially if you made it this far) – this past Sunday we were blessed to join the Dornoch Free Church of Scotland. If you are curious to see how worship styles and liturgies can differ even amongst churches in the same denomination only half an hour apart, feel free to check this out:

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Life After the Honeymoon

LS

Perhaps you have heard the term “Honeymoon Phase”. It is used to refer to the initial excitement over something new. At first everything seems amazing and nothing could possibly be wrong. There is new life, new energy, a new sense of thrill. However, like all things, the honeymoon phase does not last forever.

Our kids definitely were honeymooning hard the first few days in Scotland. Life was exciting and thrilling. Everything was new and they could hardly take it all in. In fact, the very first day we had to call them inside and inform that that playing soccer loudly in the yard before 7am was not permitted. The excitement of a new place combined with the sun rising before 5am meant that they had been up and at it for a while and decided they ought to begin an early game (even though they have never been permitted to play outside before breakfast before).

The yard was incredibly thrilling…it is larger than ours was in Germany, laid out better, with far thicker and kid resistent grass. The house was even interesting, the layout of the rooms, the nearness of the sea. Everyone was on cloud nine. And then the honeymoon ended.

Nearly 4 days after it had begun, the yard was suddenly boring. The excitement for early morning soccer matches was replaced with irritation when mom and dad informed them that running activities were for outside only and not indoors. The rooms that were cool suddenly needed to be kept straight and tidy with nothing moved around, cut into, colored on, or any other type of mischievousness.

Thankfully the after honeymoon phase is also not eternal. Life begins to settle into some semblance of normal. Routines are developed and the benefit of a massive transition is that it affords us a natural way of making some smaller advances alongside it. You see, because there is already so much new happening with adoption, parents are often needing to carefully pick and choose what to introduce when. Kids are overwhelmed by new settings, new rules, new routines, a new language, a new culture, and it is all enough to leave them in a state of panic or hypersensitivity. This means that we try to minimize as much as possible with the intention of gradually introducing in a way that will be more manageable.

However, that too has difficulties as it means putting up with habits that are not good or doing more work initially until chores and responsibilities can be manageably introduced. It also can mean, if not done well, that kids feel there are constant minor adjustments occurring…which means we have to slow things down even more to get some stability for a while before changing again. But moving to Scotland gave a natural break to be able to reintroduce some helpful and much needed habits. Of course, as you might imagine, that combined with a honeymoon in the rearview mirror has made for some rollercoaster reactions. But by God’s grace we continue to be thankful to see all the improvements that are happening. The going is hard. We knew it would be. And often it is hard to see the progress in the midst of what feels like trying to simply avoid drowning. Yet, in the grand scheme of things, we are incredibly thankful for how much has transpired in such a short period of time.

And as the honeymoon has come to an end, we are thankful to see how God allows us to establish a new sense of normal…with better habits and small strides in the right direct.

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A New Perspective

LS

Being in Scotland for just short of 2 weeks has given us time to contemplate and gain some new perspectives. There are many things we can and will share…oh if we were just back in the days of getting paid by the word like Charles Dickens (which makes sense why he was so elaborate in descriptions!), we would be millionaires! But instead we get to share our random thoughts that you so kindly read 🙂

As we have been settling in we have really loved getting to know the church community here. We have only just begun to scratch the surface of getting to know people and histories, but already we have been very blessed. One of the interesting things this has caused us to think about is the small church dynamic and the often unforeseen challenges.

The Christian world is often more influenced by secular values than we care to admit. Like the frog in the pot, the temperature rises without us realizing we are boiling alive in our cultures. Living overseas already has offered us many new perspectives on this aspect. But now moving to a small church community is giving us more perspectives to think upon.

You see, the small church dynamic illustrates a typical problem to which answers are very few. The church at Hilton has been looking for an assistant minister for several years with no luck. The hope is to find someone who would eventually be able to take over as the senior pastor of Hilton once the church has reached a self sustaining size (and it isn’t far off now). But, as several of the elders shared with us, the challenge is to find anyone at all. Seminary graduates are often prime candidates for such positions. However, many of them are not really interested in moving far off the beaten path and strongly pursue opportunities in larger cities. Indeed, even getting someone out for an internship is hard and although the internship model is a great way to train and to field future ministers, it primarily benefits churches large enough to be able to host interns.

Furthermore, many seminary graduates are now looking for younger churches with university students. One reason is because these are the types of churches they have been attending lately and are comfortable with. And a location like Hilton, in the Scottish Highlands, has a reputation for being more traditional and conservative (and in many ways it is…but there is actually someone refreshing about that for us and much to admire and learn from).

Getting help beyond national candidates is just as hard for small churches. Missions groups are typically focusing on larger cities. The argument used to justify this is that we need to send people the most strategic locations. The way we define this is places where there is a maximal opportunity for impact. This means larger cities and certainly moves small, country churches to the bottom of the priority list.

Please don’t misunderstand this – this is not a diatribe against being strategic or against targeting larger cities. We certainly need to do that. But interestingly enough, Scripture doesn’t ever give any such mandates or even guidelines for this. In fact, much of our strategic convictions arise from secular models and approaches. You can certainly find examples of people planting churches in Scripture in large and flourishing places with a big impact. But you can also find examples of God sending messengers to places where they have little to no impact. Isaiah, Ezekiel, and Jeremiah are all illustrations of prophets who, by worldly measures had very little impact and were not strategic. No one listened to them, they didn’t have followings, their “fruit” was nonexistent. Yet, they are faithful to a call. Because of this, they are having an impact on generations to come and their inspired writings are being used by the Holy Spirit to transform lives.

Perhaps we simply need to consider rethinking things a bit. Maybe we should target the big cities, see large, flourishing churches established, while also equally emphasizing the small gatherings. The Lord has some amazing people at Hilton, who are very passionate for the Lord and His Word. They too need an undershepherd who will care for them and lead them to the Shepherd. Prayerfully the Lord will raise up the right person in a short time. But maybe we can also seek to encourage up and coming pastors to have a heart for the small flocks, not just eyes on numbers. Maybe we can compel missions boards to seek to also prioritize the smaller villages and not just be concerned about statistical advances. Maybe this is the Lord preparing us, in His kindness and mercy, for church planting in Innsbruck….or maybe He closes doors and opens others. But in the meantime, we are so thankful to have the privilege and the honor of getting to serve and being served by the glorious fold of the Great Shepherd gathered twice on Sundays and throughout the week at the Seaboard Village of Hilton in the Scottish Highlands. Won’t you join us in praying for them? In praying for their needs and for the Lord to bring along a pastor?

And, if you are curious to experience a service, you can find the link to the full evening service Luke was blessed to preach at here…and we hope you will be as blessed as we have been to experience singing the Psalms!

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The Transitory Life

LS

We have been thankful to be settling into our temporary home in Scotland. It has been a joy to be in this village, meet with the congregation, worship together, and take in the beautiful and very calming scenery. We have also manage to explore some of the area as we take advantage of summer break and a short time of respite. We will certainly continue to share more of this and our adventures in the seaboard villages of the Highlands!

One of the aspects of missions life is the transitory nature it brings with it. In some sense the ground seems like it is constantly moving. If you have ever been on a boat for any significant period of time, you know of the phenomena of sea legs versus land legs. We experienced this recently on our overnight ferry. At first, everyone is stumbling about the boat, looking like a pack of drunken sailors (and no, we didn’t let our kids ingest alcoholic beverages despite how they might have looked). After a while you get used to the movement and your body starts to make the necessary adjustments to maintain a more stable balance. The funny thing about this is that once you get to stable land, you actually feel as though the ground is moving underneath your feet and you might look even more intoxicated on dry land.

Missions life can sometimes feel like this. The seas are swelling around and movement is constantly happening. In order to adjust and to survive or settle in, you begin to learn coping mechanisms as means of dealing with the ever changing landscapes. This happens subtly and often without notice.

Our kids began to experience some of this with our recent many upheavals. The transition out of Germany was hard, good, and involved many goodbyes. In the midst of all of this, several of our children stoutly declared that they were not going to make any friends during our time in Scotland. The reason wasn’t the language barriers or even the brevity of duration of stay. Rather, they didn’t want to have to loose friends again or need to say goodbye. The easiest solution? You don’t have to say goodbye if you don’t ever say hello in the first place. Loss doesn’t happen if you never posses something to begin with.

This afforded a good chance to help them think through and be genuine about the pain of loss. Losing friends hurts and is difficult. Losing a country, a national identity, a language, a culture, a former family – these are all significant losses. Various psychological tests would classify each of these as major traumatic events which can have long lasting impact. And to have all of them happen at once and then less then a year later to go through that again is difficult to say the least. However, even though without risk there will be no loss, there will also be no reward. The pain of loss tells us something of the joy of gain. That we had good friends who had an impact on our lives and this is exactly why saying goodbye is difficult.

Thankfully, this resolution was short lived and our kids have already made some friends and have enjoyed spending time with other kids. Goodbyes are hard and should not be minimized. But they also shouldn’t prevent us from opening up to say hello. Rather, it makes us all the more aware of the truths of Scripture – that we are pilgrims and wanderers in this life. This is not our actual home and we will be in a state of transition all the way until we arrive at our eternal home. And for those who are in Christ, that day will be a day of reunion in which goodbyes will be a thing of the past.

But in the meantime, the challenges transition brings are especially acutely felt by those who have been scarred and marred by traumatic events. Yet, we are able to help them learn that in the midst of uncertainty, the truth of the Lord remains – that He is good, He is sovereign, and He has provided salvation for us who desperately need it, if we will just turn in faith and repentance. And on this earth, this family is God’s provision as a forever family – not one that will stop, give up, fall apart, or disintegrate. The Lord is gracious to provide some stable points when the ship is being tossed to and fro and helps us get our feet underneath us when we have made it to dry land.

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Arriving at the Next Stop

LS

After several days of travel, we were thankful to arrive at our next stop. We were able to break the trip up over several days, going from Munich to a small city close to Dusseldorf and Cologne on Tuesday. On Wednesday we drove the remaining distance to the wharfs just outside of Amsterdam. We were able to have lunch in view of Schiphol International Airport before spending some time at a ruin castle and then continuing onto our ferry. Wednesday late afternoon we boarded the ferry, enjoyed dinner aboard, didn’t realize that the sea sickness medication would hit us just afterward like a sledgehammer (or perhaps it was a week of hectic packing and cleaning?), and then slept well before breakfast and disembarking. Then on Thursday we drove the remaining distance, arriving early evening at our new home.

We were so thankful to be greeted by a warm meal delivered and another meal in the fridge. Both of these we unexpected blessings along with the fruit, dry goods, toys, and other things that were graciously brought to the Manse we are staying in. After all the travel, it was amazing to be blessed in this way by a church community we haven’t had a chance to meet in person yet. The Body of Christ in action is such an enormous blessing and a tremendous encouragement…especially to weary travelers (from the physical roads and the spiritual roads).

The tiny village we are staying in is a sea coastal town which can be walked end to end in a few minutes. The views are gorgeous, the Manse is spacious (larger than our now former home), the yard is very large (much to the delight of World Cup frenzied kids), and the wind is quite stiff. We are thankful for and very excited to see what new adventures the Lord has in store for us.

Today we travelled to a nearby larger town to celebrate our 11th anniversary by getting lunch as a family and wandering around to explore. There is nothing more romantic than fish and chips while keeping kids under control, but we are so thankful for the life the Lord has blessed us with. It is incredible to think about what has happened in the last 11 years.

  • We have made two international house moves
  • We have lived for more than a month in 5 different countries on 3 different continents
  • We have been blessed to adopt 5 kids
  • We have changed missions boards to focus on a different aspect of ministry and seen the Lord open the doors for ministry in 3 countries, with a 4th on the horizon
  • We have seen the Lord open the doors for teaching in Europe and beyond, getting connected to India and what God is doing there
  • We have watched as God threw us into pastoral ministry and then gave us a heart to see this have a permanent place in our future ministry role

We could list and name so many more things! Learning languages, learning cultures, learning trauma, learning how what we think is stressful can seem like a piece of cake by comparison with what God brings later. But above all, we have learned how faithful, gracious, and sovereign the Lord is. If you had told us even half of this 11 years ago, we would have laughed it off as ridiculous or maybe been more hesitant about starting down the journey. Yet, reflecting back, we can see how the Lord has prepared us for the next step and slowly, kindly led us through every storm. The seas have certainly not been calm and stiff breezes have been a constant. But the Lord has anchored us all the way through.

Even our current tempest is being used by Him for His glory and our good. It leaves us excited to think what He will do in us even as we pray He is pleased to do things through us.