Likely you have heard the saying that old habits die hard. Quite likely you have experienced this yourself. Change doesn’t come easily especially when it is something that touches on time tested routines. It makes sense too. We build up habits through much repetition and over significant time. Yet, we tend to think that they will be rewired in a moment.
And even though we know this at some level, walking through it can be another story altogether. Like so many things we have learned in this journey the distance between head and heart and hands can sometimes feel universes apart. Our expectations tend to work against us – though we might know something to be true, we still expect them to somehow be different.
This can especially be true with children who have spent more time developing habits outside of your own care. They have been developed over years and years. Sometimes well shaped and formed, but often developed through survival, self preservation, negligence, or simply because no one ever bothered to teach you any differently.
We have noticed plenty of these throughout the past couple of months. Habits of copying other people to get a laugh or gain attention. Lying about nearly everything especially if there is any sense that the truth might possibly bring trouble. Giving up when something seems too difficult or simply doesn’t want to be done. Speaking, and maybe even believing, as if everything were extreme. Doing nearly everything you know you aren’t supposed to do despite being told many times. We could go on and on.
It is very easy to get frustrated when it seems like these things are never changing. Yet, the difficulty si to remember that some of these things, perhaps all of them, were forged through traumatic backgrounds and as a means of getting by. Trust is not built overnight and in its absence, defense mechanisms are constantly in place. It may take years for these to disappear as even when the guard goes down a bit, the slightest sign of danger causes it to come shooting back up. Old habits die hard for the best of us. But they can die even harder for those who have developed them through hardship and pain.
Patience and understanding are needed. And it is amazing how much emotional energy this can take. But we are reminded that our Lord is gracious and patient with us and our habits that we cling to. He kindly sanctifies us and helps us purge them, replacing them with things in alignment with His Word and according to His Will. And we pray that He will be working in our lives to replace our habits of expectations, frustrations, acting on our desires and to exchange them with things that reflect Him and point our kids toward Him.
Halfway Around the Globe 