Tag: writing

News

The Bus has Arrived

LS

At long last, after much anticipation and impatient waiting we were able to pick up our new car on Friday. Having a vehicle which can fit the whole family after 2 months without this is an enormous blessing. Not only can all 7 of us fit, but we can fit comfortably. The car feels twice as large and it is significantly larger which will take some adjusting to – especially when it comes to parking in already microscopic European parking spaces.

First order of business was getting the tires changed and putting winter tires on the vehicle. Thankfully, Luke was able to get a same day appointment and was told it was the last day before the holiday break. When preparing to pay, he was asked if he had the bus and if this was a company car. Nothing indicates how much we stick out as different like innocent comments along these lines. Thankfully the “bus” does fit into our driveway, albeit just barely.

The family was very excited to be in the new car and it is amazing how much car technology has changed in the last 13 years. It makes our old car look like it is from a different century. We are very thankful for the Lord’s provision for our needs in this way! It opens up a new set of possibilities for us as a family. We are so thankful for all the help we received along the way – major assistance in purchasing the vehicle at an extremely good price, many who offered us use of their vehicles while we were waiting, others providing us rides to and from various things, etc.

Adapting has been a term characteristic of our family. A bit like our car, we have promises that something grand is on its way and will arrive soon. In the short term, we are finding ways to make things work, with significant help along the journey. We trust that one day we will look back and feel like the jump in progress is a bit like moving from a 2013 vehicle to a 2025 car. There are already some great signs of forward progress. Things which show more of a settling in, less of a feeling of unsettled and walking on eggshells, and less fear of losing it all or unable to trust. We still have a long ways to go with each of these, but we are thankful to think about where we have come from. The Lord is graciously guiding each step forward.

News

It’s the Little Things

LS

When it comes to the state of our lives right now, it’s the little things that count. And amazingly, the little things seem to count in both directions.

It’s the little things that can push us over the edge. Perhaps it is because we often don’t see those things coming. The big things sometimes seem more predictable in terms of bracing for impact. And it seems like the little things come in more of a rapid succession. How often do you have to tell people to turn off the lights before they will start to remember? How often can things be hidden as a “joke” before it is no longer thought to be funny? How many times can scissors seem to disappear and then other things end up decapitated? How often can the things which get under our skin keep driving us up the wall?

And in the midst of the little things it seems like there is a little lack of logic…but it does at least provide some comic relief. Or perhaps it is laugh instead of cry? Kids racing up right after dinner and then fighting over who is first to brush their teeth. Mind you, this is not because they actually care about dental hygiene. Rather it is because they don’t want to be the last person who then has to turn off all the lights. The laugh/cry part of the logic for us? If they would just recall to turn the lights off right away (the subject of which seems to be on the forefront of their minds already), it wouldn’t take hardly any more effort or time. Or the protestation from an upset child who on investigation is angry because another child is “antagonizing” them. The antagonization? The one child is declaring that they will eat all the pineapple. Now mind you, the pineapple was already dished out on everyone’s plates and everyone had an equal amount. And so we are struggling to figure out why such a bold claim even is bothersome since it obviously can’t be true.

But it’s the little things that that we also hold onto. The little baby steps in the right direction. The small times when a child remembers that going into a dramatic display over a disappointment won’t help them and actually leaves mom and dad more stressed. So instead, they stop mid step and reverse direction. Or the little action of seeking to be helpful or at least a little less stubborn. It is the little things we hold onto…the ones that seem few and far between.

We are still just managing to make to to the end of each day. And we are still getting asked multiple times a day if we are sad, angry, or tired (indications of emotions that have been deeply impactful in past histories). But God is still graciously sustaining us and He is using His local body in amazing ways to do so. We continue to be the beneficiary of so many who call, write, ask, show up, help, care, and loan. And the little things along with the little steps are ever so slowly taking us in the right direction.

We still have a lot of prayer requests and things we are trusting the Lord with – the schooling situation for this year is still not clear and appeals will still need to be launched. Residence permits still have to be applied for which will involve more explanations and complications. But we are thankful that the registration with the local city was finally completed. The citizenship process with the US is still underway with no news surfacing…but we trust God is working through that. Thank you for praying with us! We are thankful that though we don’t seem to know anything, we serve a God who knows everything.

News

Memories and More

LS

Today was another high emotion day as we set off to visit the orphanage. The kids showed us around the building where they spent time over the last bit. This was the second orphanage that they were in – the other one was actually outside of Curitiba. They were also some of the first kids to move into this orphanage. Despite this being a “newer” facility, it certainly didn’t have that appearance. The bedrooms had 4-5 bunk beds allowing 8-10 kids to sleep in a single room. There was a large central area with tables, couches, and a small playing area. It was surprisingly small and the boys shared with dad that there was really not much to do in the orphanage. Despite this being the happiest spot (see yesterday’s post) for them, they felt like there was very little to actually do outside of a few computers and a television running in the background.

The kids enjoyed seeing some of their friends and the workers there. They were thankful to give a small gift to their favorite worker and we were thankful to see where they lived. There are a lot of insights that can come from such a visit for us and for them, we hope that it provides some sense of closure. A Christmas gift was rediscovered by one child, some certificates from Tai Kwon Do, and a couple of other sentimental items were brought back with us. We were able to return the two suitcases of clothes that they came with, which will hopefully allow other children to make use of these.

Being in an environment like this is always interesting. The other kids are intrigued by visitors and our kids filling them in on what we have been doing and introducing us as their parents. The oldest stayed in very close proximity to us for the first period of time and kept coming back to check in on us. Even the official support person who accompanied us commented on this. This was in stark contrast to the youngest who shot off like a bullet and didn’t want to leave. Even this gives some insights into our kids and their lives. For the youngest, she doesn’t remember nearly as much from life beforehand. Her tightest relationships are all connected to the orphanage. Whereas for the oldest, he didn’t bond or connect nearly as tightly and he does remember a lot about life beforehand. He was probably the one most strongly desiring a family and has also been the one always the most nervous and agitated when one of us is gone.

We were able to stay until most of the kids (except the youngest) were telling us they were ready to go. It was nice to see them spend some time with people who meant a lot to them and to get to say goodbye one last time. Turning a page to a new chapter also means saying goodbye to the chapter that was…and even if it is a chapter full tragedy and hardship, it is the only chapter that has been known. Newness represents uncertainty and unfamiliarity. It takes a lot of courage to step into the unknown and opening up and building trust are things that take a lot of time especially when experience warns you to put up walls and not let anyone close. We are thankful for the progress we have already seen and pray the Lord continues to work in lives and hearts.

News

More Important Things

LS

Today we set off on an overnight adventure. As a part of Elijah’s birthday and family day (today is the 7 year anniversary of God bringing him into our family), we planned a 3 day trip to an amusement park (2 days there and one day at the beach). Because it is a 3 hour drive, we were trying to get out the door early. However, as it would so happen, as we were hurrying about trying to pack, get breakfast, and get people dressed (and convince a few young ladies that pajamas do not work for going to the park and certain pants also don’t work nor do they belong to that person), some overambitious play on the part of one boy resulted in upset feelings and some hurt on the part of another boy.

Of course, because we were rushing about, our quick fix solution was to tell the upset child to stop playing with the other person. He did that, but only later did dad realize that he had also gone to sit by himself on the stairs leading to the basement. Dad didn’t realize that whatever had ensued triggered more emotions and upset feelings. Thankfully, there was still time to attempt to help some with that. So dad went down to sit on the stairs and attempt to talk in very broken Portuguese (naturally he was in a spot that was just out of internet reach and so translation options weren’t even readily available). These are the times we really wish we could speak fluently. You see, something seemingly insignificant had somehow flipped one switch too many – perhaps this child reached there limit, but it is equally likely that past history and trauma came flooding back in this moment.

So for an extra while dad tried to talk, while mom closed to door and kept the other kids away. And the Lord provided a chance on the basement stairs to attempt to communicate to a child that we know things are hard for them, that what happened just now was not right, but was also a part of another child struggling to adjust to all the changes. This led into an opportunity to also brokenly share that we don’t know this child’s history, but whenever they are ready, we would like to hear it and that we are there for them when they feel comfortable. And to also share that the little bit we do know makes us realize that this child had to basically act as an adult for most of their life – they lost their childhood, they were robbed of their years of innocence/fun/play, and they had to be far more responsible than any child that age should ever have to be…and that this was not right…it should not have been…it is a painful reminder of the sinful world we live in (although this sentence didn’t make it due to very limited vocabulary)…and that we are sorry. We hope and pray the next years can be full of more light, life, and laughter – but we also know there is a history that is dark and painful…and a child lugging around more emotional baggage that anyone should have to ever carry…and this is heartbreaking.

Today we left later than planned and much later than we could have. Because there were more important things to do. We missed the first opportunity to seize the situation, but thankfully the Lord provided a second for a child in need. Because sometimes we are in too much of a hurry trying to accomplish all of our plans and meet all of our deadlines. And sometimes we run the risk of missing the more important things God has in store for us. So we are thankful that He provided basement stairs and a tag teaming system to allow us to seek to capitalize on the more important things.

News

Assembly Line

LS

Probably anyone with a large family can relate to the feeling of being an assembly line worker. Laundry is an ongoing line of movement – washing in a machine that takes at least 2 hours on the “rapid” cycle, hanging out to dry, folding (just to have them immediately dumped everywhere by kids), and repeat. Mealtimes are assembly line like with choosing between how much food ends up spilled or on clothes and how much mom and dad want to insist on serving everyone. We are able to incorporate small tasks for the kids to do, but we still haven’t yet made it to the stage of them being able to fully help with all these chores.

Even talking with the psychologist (who visited today), can feel a bit like a rotating wheel…first one set of kids, then the other, and then parts of a conversation for the parents who were also having to play referee. Thankfully our kids don’t seem to mind or object to having the psychologist visit. However, even with that, there are little disruptions that can add up over time…a child a bit more emotional than normal, others a bit more rowdy than normal – all signs of things being a bit out of the ordinary and no one entirely sure how to fully handle it.

Thankfully, in the midst of all of the assembly line work and disrupted routines, the Lord continues to reign supreme. We are very thankful for His hand of guidance and care upon our lives. Another day has come and gone, that Lord has been gracious through it all. We are grateful even amidst the 12 sandwiches and never ending clothes waiting to be washed and then waiting to dry…thankfully the house has a yard with more space to hang them!

News

Another Day with New Discoveries

LS

Today we set off in search of sports clothing, regular clothing, and a kite. We found a Decathlon sports store which was a 15 minute Uber ride (due to our family size we have to take 2 Ubers) away. The boys were over clothes shopping in about 10 minutes and with the girls clothes shopping can sometimes feel like hostage negotiation especially when one of them picks something that we are not willing to buy for them (either due to price or style). Thankfully, meltdowns were avoided and though clearly disappointed, they handled it better than they have in the past…little baby steps. Sadly, no kite was in sight.

Afterward we took a 2 minute ride to the closest shopping mall which was just out of walking distance. Lunch was first up to avoid hangry children. McDonalds was the choice option and thankfully we are able to make good use of the family deals. We are also thankful that our kids are not fixated on the Happy Meals or the toys…although one was quite annoyed to have lettuce on his burger. We have also learned to order extra nuggets or fries or a burger as these will inevitably be eaten either on the spot or for a snack later. One child was a bit too nervous to ask for a refill (as they didn’t have refill machines to the disappointment of all), so dad helped out. Another kid worked up the nerve, but was still nervous enough that he ended up asking for “a sprite now, please”. At least he had a please in the sentence 😀

More clothes shopping for the girls and the disappointment for the boys that the largest mall we have been in yet had no kite in sight. But we did discover an indoor play ground which was great for mom to stay with the kids while dad rapidly tried to exchange money, withdraw cash, and the hit the clothes store for the boys. Despite him moving as quickly as he could, upon arriving back mom let him know that the oldest had been asking where he was and for some time had decided to climb up to the highest part of the playground to try to keep a lookout for dad – little signs of underlying anxiety.

Despite the major disappointment of not getting a kite, the boys handled it reasonably well. It was a hard hit, but they didn’t go into full expression of being upset. A short time at the nearby park, an afternoon snack of apples and crackers, ending the time with ice cream, and then heading home. More apples and nectarines at home – have we mentioned that our normal food budget for the month has already been consumed? Naturally, this is somewhat to be expected as it was originally designed for 3 people and not 7. But with food prices cheaper, it also shows how much we are going through! And some of that has to do with history and circumstances. One thing we have been working on with the kids is finishing everything that we take – not just eating part of fruit or throwing out half full glasses of juice or milk. They have been doing much better, but these are all signs of what they have been used to – not having food always available, not having options or being able to have opinions, and not having to finish things. With older boys we do expect to be eaten out of house and home, but we also know that the first few weeks food consumption can be at an all time high in part because of not having access to food before in this way and sometimes due to anxiety of not having enough (something we do know is in there history – abandonment and having to scrounge to find things to eat).

Overall it has been a good day, with some hard moments, but as dad finishes his second dinner…because after serving everyone to avoid having food everywhere, helping people with refills, there is only about 10 minutes for a very fast dinner before everyone disappears and the countdown begins to tears, rage, and screams. This means choosing between a full meal, cleaning up, and keeping our sanity…and tonight dad decided he was going to try to get a bit more food after everyone went to bed. By the way, the experiment of weight loss does seem to be holding true…adopting 4 kids does seem to be quite effective in this area. Although, we think it might also work for people who spend all day caring for 4 kids in this stage of their lives as well…we are happy to put that theory to test if anyone cares to give it a go 🙂

Another day is in the book, new discoveries have been made. The most glorious of which are the mercies of the Lord which are new every morning and more than sufficient for each day. These discoveries are most precious in the turbulent seas. We are thankful that in such times we are able to see more clearly what is always true – great is His faithfulness.

News

What’s an Adoption without Drama?

LS

Today was the first full day together as a family of seven! Much to the delight of our daughters, we had the shopping mall on the agenda to get some new outfits. While our kids did come with two suitcases full of clothes, we both wanted to let them get to be involved in picking clothing (for perhaps the first time) and also return other clothes that their orphanage could use for other children. Waiting until 9:30 seemed like torture (even though they didn’t get up until about 7…but in the excitement, breakfast was mostly ignored).

When we finally made it to the shopping mall (having to wait 5 minutes for them to open the doors), the girls immediately set out to find all the outfits they could. We definitely have some very fashion oriented young ladies and the quickly amassed a large number of combinations to try on. The boys were a bit quicker, but also had less options to pick from (so they also ended up with fewer outfits). Mom and dad were a bit overwhelmed and decided to not try to get everything in one swoop. One soccer ball later and at least one child hitting the hangry stage, we swung by the food court, to the delight of the kids, grabbed bathing suits, and then headed to an outdoor sports complex close to home. Getting out energy for a few hours had everyone ready to return to the apartment (although within an hour or two they seemed to get all the energy back!).

As we walked in the door, quite literally, Luke’s WhatsApp rang with a group call from Lifeline, our adoption agency. It seems that by some strange turn of events, the US Embassy in Brazil never issued what is known as Article 5. This is the final document that comes after all other approvals and essentially is the guarantee to the Brazilian government that the US government will, in fact, allow the adopted children to live, reside, and gain permanent citizenship in America. Somehow this was overlooked by everyone involved – most likely because it is, in every other case, a check box item. In fact, it is one of the few things that our agency is able to essentially fix the timeline for because it is so quick and ought to be an automatic issuance. Furthermore, this approval is required before meeting the children and is the key to the Brazilian government telling them to set the meeting date. So not only did Lifeline somehow miss this piece, but so did, apparently, the Brazilian social services branch.

Thankfully, we are blessed with a great agency who we fully trust are doing everything possible to sort through the situation. The embassy alerted Lifeline today of the fact that Article 5 had not been issued (it usually takes a clocked 5 business days and we are more than a month past the time it ought to have been issued) because they were still trying to determine the embassy’s role in the adoption because we are ex-patriots…one more reminder that for things like this, life becomes increasingly more difficult for those living overseas. Lifeline immediately set up a call with the embassy officials and are already working on plans to involve the Department of State if need be.

So what does this mean for us (beyond additional stress)? Well, at the moment there isn’t anything we can do, but wait to hear the outcome of what Lifeline is doing to advocate for us, to pray, to ask you to pray, and to trust the Lord with this too. If we need to get involved in discussions with the embassy or the State Department, Lifeline will let us know. Best case scenario this can get resolved quickly with the embassy issuing Article 5 (albeit after the meeting date) and being convinced that even though we are ex-patriots, every other adoption process in other countries for ex-patriots works this way (did we mention that we are the first ex-patriots to adopt from Brazil? Probably another reason all this got overlooked). Worst case scenario it could delay the finalizing of adoption temporarily or until Article 5 is issued – with this document Brazil would be in violations of the Hague Convention agreements governing international adoptions and would not consent to finalize the adoption. Thankfully, we are still 30 days away from that deadline, but we would also like to know this is wrapped up as quickly as possible with as little stress to us and prayerfully, no added trauma to kids (we are glad that it will hopefully not get to any sort of separation, but also do know it is a remote possibility). So, we would encourage you to join us in prayer! This is one more opportunity for us to trust God with things outside of our control. We are thankful God is in control of even this! Though it seems like we can’t seem to make it through an adoption process without unexpected and unique drama (we do feel bad for what Lifeline has to put up with us each time!), we have seen the Lord work through each one and are thankful for His faithfulness!