Tag: jesus

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Yoyo-ing Along

LS

Our lives feel like a bit of a yoyo at the moment. We do our best to remind ourselves that there is (hopefully and prayerfully) a time when the speed of the yoyo will slow down a bit. But when scissors are taken to things other than paper, toilet paper rolls end up submerged, complaining never seems to cease, disappointment over not getting everything desired at this moment, and mom and dad already feeling overwhelmed it can seem like our bouncing up and down is happening rapidly in a single day.

We are thankful for the prayers, the notes of encouragement, the gracious offers to help, the things dropped off and given to us, a car and groceries passed along. And we praise the Lord that even when we are at our most overwhelmed, we have been blessed with fairly good kids who, though they drive us nuts at times, also show kindness and care. The Lord is always at hand even when the dark skies seem to blot out the sun.

We managed to get some routines slowly established and some basic schoolwork in place. Our children pick things up well and fairly rapidly, showing that much of their delay is due to unfortunate circumstances rather than competence issues. Time is what they need and devoted attention. However, that is a struggle to given when our attentions are divided 5 ways already, not counting our other obligations. So even though it feels like we are the proverbial boy who is throwing starfish back into the ocean with a beach full to go, we try to remind ourselves as well that though we might not be able to get to them all, we can save the one in our hands.

And at the same time, it is easy to forget how much pressure and stress we are all under. Children are facing a massive amount of new information and sensory overloads every day. We are also in a similar position although it can be much harder for us to spot because there is so much more familiar to us. And it always seems like the “to do list” not only keeps getting longer, but it also keeps getting more complex. Renewing Michelle’s residence permit has turned up requests for some things we weren’t expecting (like proof of having completed language courses and being currently enrolled), the filing for registration in our city takes much longer and is not so clear (tomorrow is our appointment), doctors visits need to get scheduled soon, dentists, and the clocks just seem to speed up. It certainly feels like we are in a pressure cooker which is probably why the yoyo ride seems even more intense and we are all a little less well behaved and a little more on edge.

Yet through this we are reminded of how God is patient with us, how He is gracious beyond all measure. That the things He calls us to, He doesn’t just abandon us in. Rather, He walks alongside us and it is His strength that we need. Thankfully, we are able to discover alongside Paul, that His strength is perfected in our weakness. And He continues to bring others alongside us to help, to encourage, and to uphold.

His hand holds the string and He controls the tempo…so while the yoyo might seem to be giving us motion sickness, in His hands, it is actually producing a glorious harmony and combination of masterful brilliance.

And one day, we trust we will be able to look back and stand amazed and the majestic skill He displays.

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The Fellowship through Christ

LS

It was a true joy for us to be back in fellowship at our local church in Munich. There is an indescribable joy in being in the presence of fellow believers – perhaps this is one aspect of what Christ means when He tells us that the Sabbath was made for man. Gathering together for worship breathes life into weary souls. And to say we haven’t been weary souls would be to simply put a mask on reality. The return to Germany has not been easy. For all the difficulties we face in Brazil, having dedicated time and dedicated finances intended to help facilitate bonding has been an incredible blessing. Having done two adoptions now, we are very thankful for the time requirement in Brazil. Even though it adds a lot of additional finances and puts a strain on holiday time, there is really a lot to be said for focusing so much attention on family without anything else interrupting. Ironically enough, our first adoption was almost as long in country, but under very different circumstances. Luke was there alone for most of the time and it was under the stress of not knowing when we would get residence permit approval to be able to leave. It was a blessing to be together in Brazil and to have these weeks set aside just for this purpose.

That being said, it does make transitions much more difficult. We spent a lot of time together and suddenly kids are having to adjust to not having dedicated attention by parents. There was freedom to do what we wanted, to focus on engaging with our kids and building memories. Suddenly that freedom doesn’t exist as easily – there are household chores, yardwork, work responsibilities, etc. From a child’s perspective this must feel like being dropped into the deep end of the swimming pool. The level of change these children have faced over the last 2 months is quite astonishing – it is more than many people face over the span of several years. Moving countries, leaving everything behind, facing everything new, and then to do it with changing family structure and dynamics. You might imagine how hard that could be especially when you mix in time changes.

With all of this happening, we felt like we were somewhat limping into church this morning. Yet, even getting there was filled with acts of generosity and grace: a loaned car that allowed us to drive when Munich decided to do massive renovation work on public transportation, a willing translator who sacrificed his Sunday to help kids understand the sermon, a housewarming set of groceries and food, an impromptu ride home for Luke, additional clothing and gifts. Our emotional tanks were more than a little drained because trying to care for kids can often mean setting aside caring for yourself. The transition has not just been hard for little ones, but big ones too. Resuming workloads is always difficult – this is why Mondays are stereotypically dreaded. Yet, through it all, the Lord’s sustenance continues to be visible and today it was on full display through His people. We are so thankful for how He provides for us, cares for us, and lifts us up – and we are thankful He does that through you all.

What a joy it was to see so many and how that helped us walk through the fog of the transition. The number of people spending time with us, seeking to care for us, praying for us, and encouraging us has been a blessing. We are thankful.

Difficult days lie ahead and difficult days lie behind. Every transition involves setbacks and the feeling of spinning wheels. With time, traction is regained. And in the midst, it is a blessing to be surrounded by a wonderful community – both those near and those far. The many wonderful remarks to these posts have been uplifting, the emails and WhatsApp messages a blessing. The picture of the Body of Christ at work is glorious indeed. And on a day when we celebrated the birthday of our youngest, it was just what the Great Physician ordered. Thank you for helping us walk this path filled with incredible, deep, profound hardships and also overflowing with amazing, delightful, inexpressible joys.

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Two Edged Sword

LS

We were so thankful to have a day without a drop of rain! This was a special blessing and despite the cool water temperatures, it meant that the kids were out at the pool and the beach all day. The wonderful thing about this is that it allowed us to take full advantage of our location! Having a mini vacation to end our time in Brazil has been a huge blessing. We have really needed some time to catch our breaths…although in reality it is more like time to gasp for air before going back under again in rapid dunk fashion. You see playing out all day has a downside to it – everyone is tired and this means emotions are high and fuses are very short. The two edged sword that cuts.

Today had multiple conversations with multiple children over multiple incidences that left feeling hurt, people moving to separate themselves, and mom and dad having to divide and conquer. These are opportunities to build upon and correction can actually be a powerful tool in the hands of a gracious God. But it does have an emotional cost and keeping emotional tanks above empty is not always easy.

Along the way we continue to see the strengths of our children. We remarked how blessed we have been in so many ways. There are many easily conceivable situations that could have been much, much more difficult. Yet, every strength has a corresponding weakness to it. A more empathetic child can also bruise much more easily. An independent easy going kid can also turn out to be extraordinarily stubborn. A tolerant child can be slow to recover when too many switches have been flipped. A child who can be very witty and humorous can also be very sarcastic and imitating poor behavior in an attempt to gain an audience. A sweet, happy kid can swing to angry and very vocal when things aren’t hitting her correctly (for any of a million reasons). A two edged sword that slices.

Thankfully the Lord is in the business of smoothing out jagged edges and polishing up shiny spots. He takes rough stones and redemptively transforms hearts to create diamonds through His salvific activity. It is our desire that He would graciously draw each of our children to Himself in His good timing. Until then, it is our prayer that He will give us wisdom to continue to point each of them to Him.

And as we seek to do that, we are thankful that we currently have access to unlimited levels of caffeine…at least until we have to leave this place (anyone want to help sponsor a lifetime supply?).

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New Experiences and Insights

LS

As we wind down the clock on our time in Curitba, we are seeking to spend some time investing in things which will be unique experiences and hopefully build good memories. With that in mind, we asked our support person if she could recommend a Brazilian BBQ place as we had not done this yet. She encouraged us to arrive close to opening time for lunch in order to get a table quickly without a reservation. We took that advice, but still had to wait about 40 minutes – it is one of the most popular and expensive places in town. The meat was delicious and the food was fantastic. It was certainly worth the experience! However, this trip yielded some confirmation of some of our insights. Our kids get stressed out by crowds. It is the little things that point this out – eyes darting all about, the challenge of not being able to sit still suddenly or always on the edge of the seat, the lack of appetite (especially a pity when an all you can eat place costs that much!), etc. Throw in kids who have likely almost never been in restaurants before and it can make for a significantly more stressful experience than we anticipated. Thankfully we avoided any meltdowns and did manage to get them to use forks most of the time (with lots of reminders).

We went to a park afterwards and the difference was quite noticeable. They were much calmer and more relaxed. The weather was beautiful and it was nice to see the sun shining again after multiple days of rain. The rain also meant high humidity over the past few days – which meant clothes not drying at all. This is especially traumatic when we are basically running the washing machine non-stop. But we were glad that today all the loads finally dried out. The dry clothes also gave dad an excuse to pull the oldest child away to “help” and have a longer conversation about something that had bothered him a lot on the walk back home. Over the past few days we have had multiple conversations with kids who have gotten feeling hurt and upset. These sometimes feel like hostage negotiation settings, but allow us to, prayerfully, start to help kids learn new means of conflict resolution. They also provide opportunities to talk through important issues, learn about communication (and in two different languages), and build trust. Our kids have grown up in environments where when things hurt them, their only recourse was to act out or run away. The concept of talking through things is almost completely foreign to them. In fact, one of the kids mentioned this as a stark contrast to their previous life – no other adult has ever talked with them and sought to resolve conflicts in this manner. This also means that it takes a lot of patience to help them learn this process and for them to be willing to talk with us (especially when the hurt feelings are directed at us or something we might have said).

Thankfully we don’t keep ice cream in the house…otherwise we might be in a constant comatose state after bed time. We feel like regulating our emotions in this way – but instead we are picking up clutter and not having enough energy to really enjoy the 1 free hour we have. Yet, despite it all, we are very grateful. The Lord has done a lot in the last month. We are confident He will do more in the months to come. Progress is slow and painful at times. But God is refining us and shaping them. There are plenty of mountains yet to climb, but we know the Lord will continue to sustain us.

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Waterfalls

LS

Today we had the privilege of visiting Foz do Iguacu. It is located on the far western side of the state of Parana (the same state Curitiba is in) and is about an 8 hour drive. Yesterday we got up extremely early to make the drive. Thankfully the kids did reasonably well despite the distance and the very cramped quarters (apparently Chevrolet Spins are the largest possible vehicles to rent). We found a hotel with a pool, which the kids have been loving yesterday evening and this evening. Today we went to the national park to tour the waterfalls by foot and also opted to take a boat ride which gets quite close to the lower level of waterfalls.

The sights were absolutely spectacular! It was an incredible display of God’s creation and artistic handiwork. As we got close to the waterfall, we were sprayed and soaked with the cold water. It was a shock to the senses and made it difficult to stand in one spot for very long despite temperatures in the upper 80s F, low 30s C. Watching this beauty was another reminder of adoption itself. Adoption is a gloriously beautiful gift that the Lord bestows upon all His children and that He has blessed our family to walk through. When you stand back to admire the view, it is absolutely astonishing and incredible in its color. But, at the same time, the closer you get, the more the power of the water and the constant breeze leaves you soaked and a bit shocked.

We saw both the beauty and shocking side on display today. A child helping another in a loving way. One kid throwing his arm around another kid who had tripped and taken a tumble. At the same time, a level of intentionally irritating another child that is frustrating (to say the least). Sarcasm which is understood by the parents who speak enough of all languages, but which is not picked up on by other kids who aren’t fluent certain languages yet. Beauty and chaos all mixed together.

Yet, there are definitely some glorious diamonds in the rough. We pray that the Lord will soften hearts and lives and allow us to lovingly mold them. There are small signs of hearts being impacted – a discussion about Jesus and God which leaves the theologian struggling to figure out how to explain the Trinity to a 14 year old in a language that dad struggles to speak in. An 11 year old asking if we can sit down and read the chapter in the Jesus Storybook Bible about the crucifixion because we haven’t made it that far yet, but he is really interested in it. Very small steps, but ones which are encouraging nonetheless. In the midst of so much emotional, spiritual, and physical damage, we are clinging to whatever glimmers of hope the Lord graciously puts in our path. And the thing about waterfalls is that they are fueled by massive rivers which turn into powerful forces. We don’t know hardly anything about our kids lives before September 1st. But we do know there is a massive river of hurt, pain, broken promises, abandonment, failure, and harm which is fueling it all. But God can take that and paint a grandiose landscape which leaves the world in awe.

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What’s in a Name?

LS

One adoption aspect that all families face is what names will their newly adopted children have? With Elijah’s adoption we picked the name in advance and because of his age, didn’t really have any discussions with him about this. We wanted to keep him connected to his culture and so kept his Chinese first name as his, now, middle name.

But with our Brazilian children we were a lot more apprehensive about picking names. They are much older and, as you might have seen from some other posts, understand quite a bit more. In fact, it is astonishing how quickly they are able to pick up on our emotions (even though we think we are doing a good job of hiding them). Perhaps this also gives you a clue as to what they are most sensitive to…which likely has a lot to do with their history. Because the process required it, we did pick names for them, but also wanted to have discussions with them to give them an opportunity to weigh in and say yes or no to the names. Like with Elijah, we want to keep as many cultural connections as possible. So we opted to keep all the first names the same and instead add new middle names.

One of the things that has been important to us over the years is the meanings of names. Time and time again, Biblical characters have names that signify very important aspects of their lives and ministries. Elijah, for instance, means My God is Yahweh. This fits his story very well as he ministers in a time when the nation of Israel is wavering between false gods and the One True God. Elijah stands as a testimony to the true God and he resolutely proclaims the same truth as his name. This is one reason why we wanted our son to have this name – it is our prayer that his life will make the same proclamation – My God is Yahweh.

The very little that we knew about our children from their files was the basis for name selection. We chose the name Samuel as the middle name for the oldest child. There were really several reasons for this. This was a name we were hoping to give to Shan, whose adoption we still pray will go through. But it is a name of great significance to us because it means God hears. Samuel is the product of God hearing the prayers of Hannah and she specifically names her son this because God heard her pleas. Both Shan and our oldest son are at an age where they are able to have a say in the adoption process – to choose to be adopted or not. Both have chosen to stay in the adoption process in the prayer of getting a forever family. But, furthermore, our oldest son at one stage during his time in the orphanage, wrote a letter asking God for a family. We picked this name because we believe that God heard that cry and is answering it through us. This has also been a point of discussion with the oldest. Even tonight, he was asking again about why we picked this name. We shared the meaning and how his letter inspired this (he was curious to know how the document had this information…which we don’t actually know other than whoever put it together knew this fact). All we know was that he wrote a letter to God and then lost it somewhere. But tonight he filled in just a bit more – that it was a letter specifically asking God for a family. And in sharing the meaning of his name, he commented that we are God’s answer to his letter.

Our second child’s middle name is Nathaniel, which means gift from God. We have been praying for him (and all the other kids) for almost a year now and truly believe that he is a gift from God to us (even though at times our patience wears thin with this gift…perhaps it is a gift in many ways – to build patience in us!). During the final visit with the psychologist yesterday, we role played what will happen at the court hearing next week. Part of the process is that we will finalize the new names. Our second child told the psychologist not only his new middle name, but what it means…maybe more of what we are saying is sinking in than we realize 😀

Our third Brazilian child’s middle name is Liana. This name means My God has answered. It is our hearts desire that she will be able to claim this statement some day. That God is her God and that she recognizes how He has answered.

Our fourth child’s middle name is Ruth, meaning friend. And true to her name, she is a very friendly personality. She is happy to strike up a conversation with almost anyone and has a very winsome personality. Like the Biblical character, we pray that her greatest friend will be the Lord Himself.

What’s in a name? Well, as it turns out, an awful lot! And here is one of the many places that physical adoption mirror spiritual adoption. You see, when God adopts us into His family, we also receive new identities, new names. We are called His Children, Beloved, Saints. Our lives are never the same – it takes years and years for us to slowly start to open up and believe this. The attachment process is often arduous and filled with us ignoring Him, going hot and cold on Him, and doing just about anything to test the limits of His love. But our identity never changes and neither does His love. We pray we will be able to reflect and communicate this truth to our children. And we are thankful that even already, the names of our children give us opportunities to discuss God.

What’s in a name? A world of prayers, history, and new identities.

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First World Problems

LS

We know we are very blessed and have lived in countries that are all very well off both in terms of finances, but also technology and modernization. Brazil is also a country that is doing quite well for itself. We have been thankful to get to learn more about Curitiba and the country as a whole. It is amazing how massively large this country is!

One of the things we have gotten used to, living in Germany, is hanging out clothes to dry. However, we weren’t necessarily counting on not having a dryer, being in an apartment (so only a narrow and short balcony for outdoors space), much higher humidity levels, and temperatures sometimes only getting into the 50s and 60s Fahrenheit or 15 to 20 Celsius. That combined with seven people and a single drying rack means that clothes are not really every truly dry and they are decorating the entire apartment.

Given that we are so large, a single Uber (the most popular means of transport) simply doesn’t work for our family anymore. But because we only have one phone with a Brazilian SIM, calling two is not quite so easy. Thankfully, living in Europe, we are used to walking a lot – and this is now getting our kids used to that. We were grateful that yesterday the store closest to our house reopened after being closed for renovations. Carrying enough groceries for 7 people on a 15 minute walk with a bunch of kids is a chore indeed…but thankfully we no longer have to worry about gym memberships. Carting around jugs of water is more than sufficient workout. But the kids are pretty good sports about helping out and they are doing pretty well with having to be told no when all the sparkling things in the store catch their eyes.

Today was a national holiday in Brazil – Brazilian Independence day. Not much happened close to us, which is actually good since holidays can sometimes be occasions for political rallies. We were thankful to have a fairly smooth first church service today (with plenty of activity books on hand) and were even blessed to have a long conversation afterwards with a lovely couple who shared about their three grown, married children (one living stateside, another in Italy). They were especially interested in our adoption as one of their grandchildren is also adopted – it is a blessing to connect with people who have some more internal insights into the ups and downs. It was also wonderful to sing familiar hymns translated into Portuguese.

First world problems aside, we continue to be thankful for the way the Lord is working and the time He has blessed us with. We are thankful for all the finances raised that are helping to make this possible and the additional savings we have been able to set aside to make this as memorable as possible. Thank you for your prayers, your generosity, and your care!

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Tears and Smiles

LS

The ups and downs of adoptions are very real. The emotions are all over the board for all involved. Little ones have hard times regulating, but sometimes big ones do too. And it is a bit of a be careful what you wish for type of thing. On the one hand it is our prayer that our children will become comfortable as quickly as possible and not have to be “putting on their best faces”. On the other hand, as they start to do that, behavioral issues also start to emerge.

Having a child suddenly decide to leave the store because their response to stress is flight (literally) adds some additional stress to parents who are telling kids we cannot and will not buy everything they set their eyes upon that looks like gold. It also means suddenly quadrupling the stress for one parent while the other needs to track down the flight taker. And the decisions to ignore instructions, calls, and understood requests by all of our children (including one who knows what he is and isn’t supposed to be doing in our family), all add to compounding stress. The language is already a trick for us, but when our brains can’t even process the sentence because another child is immediately demanding our attention, it certainly feels overwhelming. Thankfully God is kind with us all even when we struggle to be with one another.

We have also been reminded of a painful part of our journey. Nearly a year ago we learned that China was ending its adoption program, including for those who were already in process. We are part of 300 families who were matched and on their way to travel nearly 6 years ago and who are still left holding nothing but a few pictures and broken hearts. Our adoption agency, Lifeline, has been continuing to seek to advocate for these families and these children. At this stage it would take serious governmental intervention. We would love to ask you to join us in beseeching the Lord of all governments to move in a way that simply doesn’t seem possible at the moment. We would also love for you to check out Lifeline’s Facebook page (which is well worth a visit in any case) to see advocacy videos and how you can help in some very easy, simple steps. And, as an added bonus, if you keep your eye out, you will see one from us, that we tried to put together in the midst of being in Brazil – because we strongly believe that our other son needs to be advocated for and deserves to come home. Lifeline’s page can be accessed by this link: https://www.facebook.com/lifelinechild

Through the tears there continue to be smiles. We have seen our children initiating more conversations with us. They are also learning routines, pulling out the Portuguese/English Bible at night and the Portuguese and English Jesus Storybook Bible. They find mom’s reactions to certain things hilarious and are devouring her delicious cooking. Dad has been unexpectedly hugged and not just when someone wanted him to buy something (as before). We know some days will be very hard and others will be filled with mountain top experiences. Yet, through it all, our heavenly Father kindly carries us through each season as He continues to knit our family together.

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Mile Markers

LS

We are closing in rapidly on travel! The preparations around the house have been keeping us incredibly busy as we try to get everything organized and set. We continue to be so thankful for your prayers and would love to ask you to continue praying for us and our kids! To help with that, we wanted to share some upcoming mile markers, a few important dates.

Today, August 26th – we have our final video call with our kids. We will get to introduce them to Elijah and vice versa. In addition, we will be able to show them around the house and we hope that by this call they will know exactly when we will be coming to meet them.
Tomorrow, August 27th Рwe take an evening flight going from Munich to Zurich to Ṣo Paulo and finally ending in Curitiba. We will arrive mid morning on Thursday, August 28th.
Monday, September 1st – we will meet our kids face to face and bring them to the apartment we are renting.
September 9th – we will transition to a house for the remainder of our time in Curitiba. Moving mid stay was not our first choice, but last minute bookings meant not being able to get a single place for the whole time that was the right size and location.
September 12th – Elijah turns 10!

October 3rd-4th – final court hearing to make the adoption official, at this stage we will be legally parents to our four additional kids.

October 8th – we will head to Rio de Janeiro to double check things with the German consulate and prepare to travel home.

October 14th-16th – somewhere in this time frame we will board our return flight, the exact date awaits the official adoption decree and the issuing of passports.

Thank you so much for praying with us and for us! We are so thankful for your huge part in how God is building our family!

Speaking of building, we are thankful to report that, at long last, the bed is finally and fully built!

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Crunch Time

LS

An adoption without stress, excitement, and many things happening in an unideal fashion simply wouldn’t be the full experience! We should know not to expect anything less at this stage!

After the news on Wednesday about the appointment date of September 1st, we began moving as quickly as possible to get things into place given the extremely tight turn around. We immediately ran into an issue with securing a tourist visa for Brazil. In the first place, we discovered that the online application required a notarized document for Elijah’s application, giving him authorization from both parents to have a visa. This proved problematic since notaries in Germany are only available on appointment basis and Friday was a public holiday (which meant Monday would be the first chance to ask for one). Thankfully the Lord provided a solution to this via Lifeline and we were able to submit the application near midnight on Thursday in Germany (which thankfully fell within the working hours in both the USA and Brazil).

We are still not out of the clear. Though the applications and documents have all been submitted, the listed approval time is 10 business days, which would be the day after we are scheduled to fly out. Furthermore, we have already had a request for further documentation for Elijah’s birth certificate. One of the added challenges of adoption is that paperwork is often not in standard formats. We have often run into issues with Elijah’s birth certificate as it only lists his birth name, not his adopted name. This often means producing other documents such as the adoption certificate which lists both the birth name and the adoption name and then talking the official into using the two together as the birth certificate. Because this is an online system, there is no ability to talk or even write an explanation. But, all possible additional documents have now been uploaded. Please pray for grace that whoever is looking at these will accept them and give us a speedy response. We really need everything to fall into place and very rapidly.

Plane tickets have been booked for August 27th and we are working to secure accommodations. It is a bit nerve wracking to do this without visas already on hand and we are praying and trusting that the Lord will bring everything in place in sufficient time. Just when we thought we had learned plenty of lessons about patience, trust, and the Lord’s faithful provisions, we are given more opportunities to relearn these things!

We appreciate your prayers and will continue to keep you updated! The clock is ticking, which is both exciting and throwing everything into a frantic whirlwind of activity!