Tag: jesus

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New Experiences and Insights

LS

As we wind down the clock on our time in Curitba, we are seeking to spend some time investing in things which will be unique experiences and hopefully build good memories. With that in mind, we asked our support person if she could recommend a Brazilian BBQ place as we had not done this yet. She encouraged us to arrive close to opening time for lunch in order to get a table quickly without a reservation. We took that advice, but still had to wait about 40 minutes – it is one of the most popular and expensive places in town. The meat was delicious and the food was fantastic. It was certainly worth the experience! However, this trip yielded some confirmation of some of our insights. Our kids get stressed out by crowds. It is the little things that point this out – eyes darting all about, the challenge of not being able to sit still suddenly or always on the edge of the seat, the lack of appetite (especially a pity when an all you can eat place costs that much!), etc. Throw in kids who have likely almost never been in restaurants before and it can make for a significantly more stressful experience than we anticipated. Thankfully we avoided any meltdowns and did manage to get them to use forks most of the time (with lots of reminders).

We went to a park afterwards and the difference was quite noticeable. They were much calmer and more relaxed. The weather was beautiful and it was nice to see the sun shining again after multiple days of rain. The rain also meant high humidity over the past few days – which meant clothes not drying at all. This is especially traumatic when we are basically running the washing machine non-stop. But we were glad that today all the loads finally dried out. The dry clothes also gave dad an excuse to pull the oldest child away to “help” and have a longer conversation about something that had bothered him a lot on the walk back home. Over the past few days we have had multiple conversations with kids who have gotten feeling hurt and upset. These sometimes feel like hostage negotiation settings, but allow us to, prayerfully, start to help kids learn new means of conflict resolution. They also provide opportunities to talk through important issues, learn about communication (and in two different languages), and build trust. Our kids have grown up in environments where when things hurt them, their only recourse was to act out or run away. The concept of talking through things is almost completely foreign to them. In fact, one of the kids mentioned this as a stark contrast to their previous life – no other adult has ever talked with them and sought to resolve conflicts in this manner. This also means that it takes a lot of patience to help them learn this process and for them to be willing to talk with us (especially when the hurt feelings are directed at us or something we might have said).

Thankfully we don’t keep ice cream in the house…otherwise we might be in a constant comatose state after bed time. We feel like regulating our emotions in this way – but instead we are picking up clutter and not having enough energy to really enjoy the 1 free hour we have. Yet, despite it all, we are very grateful. The Lord has done a lot in the last month. We are confident He will do more in the months to come. Progress is slow and painful at times. But God is refining us and shaping them. There are plenty of mountains yet to climb, but we know the Lord will continue to sustain us.

News

Waterfalls

LS

Today we had the privilege of visiting Foz do Iguacu. It is located on the far western side of the state of Parana (the same state Curitiba is in) and is about an 8 hour drive. Yesterday we got up extremely early to make the drive. Thankfully the kids did reasonably well despite the distance and the very cramped quarters (apparently Chevrolet Spins are the largest possible vehicles to rent). We found a hotel with a pool, which the kids have been loving yesterday evening and this evening. Today we went to the national park to tour the waterfalls by foot and also opted to take a boat ride which gets quite close to the lower level of waterfalls.

The sights were absolutely spectacular! It was an incredible display of God’s creation and artistic handiwork. As we got close to the waterfall, we were sprayed and soaked with the cold water. It was a shock to the senses and made it difficult to stand in one spot for very long despite temperatures in the upper 80s F, low 30s C. Watching this beauty was another reminder of adoption itself. Adoption is a gloriously beautiful gift that the Lord bestows upon all His children and that He has blessed our family to walk through. When you stand back to admire the view, it is absolutely astonishing and incredible in its color. But, at the same time, the closer you get, the more the power of the water and the constant breeze leaves you soaked and a bit shocked.

We saw both the beauty and shocking side on display today. A child helping another in a loving way. One kid throwing his arm around another kid who had tripped and taken a tumble. At the same time, a level of intentionally irritating another child that is frustrating (to say the least). Sarcasm which is understood by the parents who speak enough of all languages, but which is not picked up on by other kids who aren’t fluent certain languages yet. Beauty and chaos all mixed together.

Yet, there are definitely some glorious diamonds in the rough. We pray that the Lord will soften hearts and lives and allow us to lovingly mold them. There are small signs of hearts being impacted – a discussion about Jesus and God which leaves the theologian struggling to figure out how to explain the Trinity to a 14 year old in a language that dad struggles to speak in. An 11 year old asking if we can sit down and read the chapter in the Jesus Storybook Bible about the crucifixion because we haven’t made it that far yet, but he is really interested in it. Very small steps, but ones which are encouraging nonetheless. In the midst of so much emotional, spiritual, and physical damage, we are clinging to whatever glimmers of hope the Lord graciously puts in our path. And the thing about waterfalls is that they are fueled by massive rivers which turn into powerful forces. We don’t know hardly anything about our kids lives before September 1st. But we do know there is a massive river of hurt, pain, broken promises, abandonment, failure, and harm which is fueling it all. But God can take that and paint a grandiose landscape which leaves the world in awe.

News

What’s in a Name?

LS

One adoption aspect that all families face is what names will their newly adopted children have? With Elijah’s adoption we picked the name in advance and because of his age, didn’t really have any discussions with him about this. We wanted to keep him connected to his culture and so kept his Chinese first name as his, now, middle name.

But with our Brazilian children we were a lot more apprehensive about picking names. They are much older and, as you might have seen from some other posts, understand quite a bit more. In fact, it is astonishing how quickly they are able to pick up on our emotions (even though we think we are doing a good job of hiding them). Perhaps this also gives you a clue as to what they are most sensitive to…which likely has a lot to do with their history. Because the process required it, we did pick names for them, but also wanted to have discussions with them to give them an opportunity to weigh in and say yes or no to the names. Like with Elijah, we want to keep as many cultural connections as possible. So we opted to keep all the first names the same and instead add new middle names.

One of the things that has been important to us over the years is the meanings of names. Time and time again, Biblical characters have names that signify very important aspects of their lives and ministries. Elijah, for instance, means My God is Yahweh. This fits his story very well as he ministers in a time when the nation of Israel is wavering between false gods and the One True God. Elijah stands as a testimony to the true God and he resolutely proclaims the same truth as his name. This is one reason why we wanted our son to have this name – it is our prayer that his life will make the same proclamation – My God is Yahweh.

The very little that we knew about our children from their files was the basis for name selection. We chose the name Samuel as the middle name for the oldest child. There were really several reasons for this. This was a name we were hoping to give to Shan, whose adoption we still pray will go through. But it is a name of great significance to us because it means God hears. Samuel is the product of God hearing the prayers of Hannah and she specifically names her son this because God heard her pleas. Both Shan and our oldest son are at an age where they are able to have a say in the adoption process – to choose to be adopted or not. Both have chosen to stay in the adoption process in the prayer of getting a forever family. But, furthermore, our oldest son at one stage during his time in the orphanage, wrote a letter asking God for a family. We picked this name because we believe that God heard that cry and is answering it through us. This has also been a point of discussion with the oldest. Even tonight, he was asking again about why we picked this name. We shared the meaning and how his letter inspired this (he was curious to know how the document had this information…which we don’t actually know other than whoever put it together knew this fact). All we know was that he wrote a letter to God and then lost it somewhere. But tonight he filled in just a bit more – that it was a letter specifically asking God for a family. And in sharing the meaning of his name, he commented that we are God’s answer to his letter.

Our second child’s middle name is Nathaniel, which means gift from God. We have been praying for him (and all the other kids) for almost a year now and truly believe that he is a gift from God to us (even though at times our patience wears thin with this gift…perhaps it is a gift in many ways – to build patience in us!). During the final visit with the psychologist yesterday, we role played what will happen at the court hearing next week. Part of the process is that we will finalize the new names. Our second child told the psychologist not only his new middle name, but what it means…maybe more of what we are saying is sinking in than we realize 😀

Our third Brazilian child’s middle name is Liana. This name means My God has answered. It is our hearts desire that she will be able to claim this statement some day. That God is her God and that she recognizes how He has answered.

Our fourth child’s middle name is Ruth, meaning friend. And true to her name, she is a very friendly personality. She is happy to strike up a conversation with almost anyone and has a very winsome personality. Like the Biblical character, we pray that her greatest friend will be the Lord Himself.

What’s in a name? Well, as it turns out, an awful lot! And here is one of the many places that physical adoption mirror spiritual adoption. You see, when God adopts us into His family, we also receive new identities, new names. We are called His Children, Beloved, Saints. Our lives are never the same – it takes years and years for us to slowly start to open up and believe this. The attachment process is often arduous and filled with us ignoring Him, going hot and cold on Him, and doing just about anything to test the limits of His love. But our identity never changes and neither does His love. We pray we will be able to reflect and communicate this truth to our children. And we are thankful that even already, the names of our children give us opportunities to discuss God.

What’s in a name? A world of prayers, history, and new identities.

News

First World Problems

LS

We know we are very blessed and have lived in countries that are all very well off both in terms of finances, but also technology and modernization. Brazil is also a country that is doing quite well for itself. We have been thankful to get to learn more about Curitiba and the country as a whole. It is amazing how massively large this country is!

One of the things we have gotten used to, living in Germany, is hanging out clothes to dry. However, we weren’t necessarily counting on not having a dryer, being in an apartment (so only a narrow and short balcony for outdoors space), much higher humidity levels, and temperatures sometimes only getting into the 50s and 60s Fahrenheit or 15 to 20 Celsius. That combined with seven people and a single drying rack means that clothes are not really every truly dry and they are decorating the entire apartment.

Given that we are so large, a single Uber (the most popular means of transport) simply doesn’t work for our family anymore. But because we only have one phone with a Brazilian SIM, calling two is not quite so easy. Thankfully, living in Europe, we are used to walking a lot – and this is now getting our kids used to that. We were grateful that yesterday the store closest to our house reopened after being closed for renovations. Carrying enough groceries for 7 people on a 15 minute walk with a bunch of kids is a chore indeed…but thankfully we no longer have to worry about gym memberships. Carting around jugs of water is more than sufficient workout. But the kids are pretty good sports about helping out and they are doing pretty well with having to be told no when all the sparkling things in the store catch their eyes.

Today was a national holiday in Brazil – Brazilian Independence day. Not much happened close to us, which is actually good since holidays can sometimes be occasions for political rallies. We were thankful to have a fairly smooth first church service today (with plenty of activity books on hand) and were even blessed to have a long conversation afterwards with a lovely couple who shared about their three grown, married children (one living stateside, another in Italy). They were especially interested in our adoption as one of their grandchildren is also adopted – it is a blessing to connect with people who have some more internal insights into the ups and downs. It was also wonderful to sing familiar hymns translated into Portuguese.

First world problems aside, we continue to be thankful for the way the Lord is working and the time He has blessed us with. We are thankful for all the finances raised that are helping to make this possible and the additional savings we have been able to set aside to make this as memorable as possible. Thank you for your prayers, your generosity, and your care!

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Tears and Smiles

LS

The ups and downs of adoptions are very real. The emotions are all over the board for all involved. Little ones have hard times regulating, but sometimes big ones do too. And it is a bit of a be careful what you wish for type of thing. On the one hand it is our prayer that our children will become comfortable as quickly as possible and not have to be “putting on their best faces”. On the other hand, as they start to do that, behavioral issues also start to emerge.

Having a child suddenly decide to leave the store because their response to stress is flight (literally) adds some additional stress to parents who are telling kids we cannot and will not buy everything they set their eyes upon that looks like gold. It also means suddenly quadrupling the stress for one parent while the other needs to track down the flight taker. And the decisions to ignore instructions, calls, and understood requests by all of our children (including one who knows what he is and isn’t supposed to be doing in our family), all add to compounding stress. The language is already a trick for us, but when our brains can’t even process the sentence because another child is immediately demanding our attention, it certainly feels overwhelming. Thankfully God is kind with us all even when we struggle to be with one another.

We have also been reminded of a painful part of our journey. Nearly a year ago we learned that China was ending its adoption program, including for those who were already in process. We are part of 300 families who were matched and on their way to travel nearly 6 years ago and who are still left holding nothing but a few pictures and broken hearts. Our adoption agency, Lifeline, has been continuing to seek to advocate for these families and these children. At this stage it would take serious governmental intervention. We would love to ask you to join us in beseeching the Lord of all governments to move in a way that simply doesn’t seem possible at the moment. We would also love for you to check out Lifeline’s Facebook page (which is well worth a visit in any case) to see advocacy videos and how you can help in some very easy, simple steps. And, as an added bonus, if you keep your eye out, you will see one from us, that we tried to put together in the midst of being in Brazil – because we strongly believe that our other son needs to be advocated for and deserves to come home. Lifeline’s page can be accessed by this link: https://www.facebook.com/lifelinechild

Through the tears there continue to be smiles. We have seen our children initiating more conversations with us. They are also learning routines, pulling out the Portuguese/English Bible at night and the Portuguese and English Jesus Storybook Bible. They find mom’s reactions to certain things hilarious and are devouring her delicious cooking. Dad has been unexpectedly hugged and not just when someone wanted him to buy something (as before). We know some days will be very hard and others will be filled with mountain top experiences. Yet, through it all, our heavenly Father kindly carries us through each season as He continues to knit our family together.

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Mile Markers

LS

We are closing in rapidly on travel! The preparations around the house have been keeping us incredibly busy as we try to get everything organized and set. We continue to be so thankful for your prayers and would love to ask you to continue praying for us and our kids! To help with that, we wanted to share some upcoming mile markers, a few important dates.

Today, August 26th – we have our final video call with our kids. We will get to introduce them to Elijah and vice versa. In addition, we will be able to show them around the house and we hope that by this call they will know exactly when we will be coming to meet them.
Tomorrow, August 27th Рwe take an evening flight going from Munich to Zurich to Ṣo Paulo and finally ending in Curitiba. We will arrive mid morning on Thursday, August 28th.
Monday, September 1st – we will meet our kids face to face and bring them to the apartment we are renting.
September 9th – we will transition to a house for the remainder of our time in Curitiba. Moving mid stay was not our first choice, but last minute bookings meant not being able to get a single place for the whole time that was the right size and location.
September 12th – Elijah turns 10!

October 3rd-4th – final court hearing to make the adoption official, at this stage we will be legally parents to our four additional kids.

October 8th – we will head to Rio de Janeiro to double check things with the German consulate and prepare to travel home.

October 14th-16th – somewhere in this time frame we will board our return flight, the exact date awaits the official adoption decree and the issuing of passports.

Thank you so much for praying with us and for us! We are so thankful for your huge part in how God is building our family!

Speaking of building, we are thankful to report that, at long last, the bed is finally and fully built!

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Crunch Time

LS

An adoption without stress, excitement, and many things happening in an unideal fashion simply wouldn’t be the full experience! We should know not to expect anything less at this stage!

After the news on Wednesday about the appointment date of September 1st, we began moving as quickly as possible to get things into place given the extremely tight turn around. We immediately ran into an issue with securing a tourist visa for Brazil. In the first place, we discovered that the online application required a notarized document for Elijah’s application, giving him authorization from both parents to have a visa. This proved problematic since notaries in Germany are only available on appointment basis and Friday was a public holiday (which meant Monday would be the first chance to ask for one). Thankfully the Lord provided a solution to this via Lifeline and we were able to submit the application near midnight on Thursday in Germany (which thankfully fell within the working hours in both the USA and Brazil).

We are still not out of the clear. Though the applications and documents have all been submitted, the listed approval time is 10 business days, which would be the day after we are scheduled to fly out. Furthermore, we have already had a request for further documentation for Elijah’s birth certificate. One of the added challenges of adoption is that paperwork is often not in standard formats. We have often run into issues with Elijah’s birth certificate as it only lists his birth name, not his adopted name. This often means producing other documents such as the adoption certificate which lists both the birth name and the adoption name and then talking the official into using the two together as the birth certificate. Because this is an online system, there is no ability to talk or even write an explanation. But, all possible additional documents have now been uploaded. Please pray for grace that whoever is looking at these will accept them and give us a speedy response. We really need everything to fall into place and very rapidly.

Plane tickets have been booked for August 27th and we are working to secure accommodations. It is a bit nerve wracking to do this without visas already on hand and we are praying and trusting that the Lord will bring everything in place in sufficient time. Just when we thought we had learned plenty of lessons about patience, trust, and the Lord’s faithful provisions, we are given more opportunities to relearn these things!

We appreciate your prayers and will continue to keep you updated! The clock is ticking, which is both exciting and throwing everything into a frantic whirlwind of activity!

News

Leaping the Hurdle

LS

We know it has been a while since our last adoption update. That is in part because we have been in a period of waiting and in part because our lives have been very busy with other things.

However, we are very excited to announce that last week our I-800 application was approved! This was one of the last major hurdles and periods of uncertainty for us. Lately the wait time has bee between 2-4 months for this approval and so we were quite surprised to receive this notification last week after under 2 months! We praise the Lord for this and thank you for praying for a speedy response – God graciously granted this request!

So what is next? We are still working with our agency to get the latest update on travel estimates, but likely we are looking to travel about 4-6 weeks from now. The approval announcement is currently being mailed to us, our adoption agency, and the NSV (another government branch). Once this letter is received, the NSV will notify the American embassy in Brazil that we are approved to adopt Pietro, Vinicius, Angel, and Agatha. They will then issue what is know as an Article 5 letter which is the formal request from the USA government to the Brazilian government to allow the adoption to be finalized. Once the Article 5 letter is received, Brazil will be able to issue us travel approval with dates of invitation. At that stage things will move quickly toward booking flights and setting up all the travel. Most realistically we are looking at the end of August (on the faster side) or almost assuredly early September.

We are so thankful for your ongoing support and prayers! Please continue to pray for our kids, for us, and for the upcoming transition! Contrary to how many of us might tend to think of the process, travel, although a monumental stage, is not the conclusion of the process. In many ways it is actually the beginning. All the work and effort to get to this step, though not insignificant, really pales in comparison to what follows. All adoption stories include in them tremendous loss (family, culture, familiarity, friends, etc). While much joy does await, for adopted children everything they have ever known is about to disappear and beyond trying to adjust to a new family, patterns, norms, etc., this loss is an additional significant factor. This is one reason why the first several years after the paperwork is all officially signed can be some of the most difficult and formative. We very much appreciate your prayers for us during this time as we will need more support and much more supplication. There are so many parallels here to our spiritual adoption – the struggle between new life and new creation all the while dealing with a former life and former creature which had such an enormous influence on us and yet is no longer our new identity. The feelings of joy and yet struggle to walk in accordance with Scripture and in step with the Spirit.

Thank you so much for walking this journey alongside us! We are excited to see what the Lord has in store!