Author: LS

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Poolside Chats

LS

Today was possibly the closest we have gotten to having a vacation while being in Brazil. In case you haven’t gathered this from our other posts, going through an adoption is definitely NOT a vacation despite having to use all our vacation time for the year to make this happen. But we decided to do something very highly unusual for us and splurge just a bit to stay at a far nicer hotel than we would ever stay at which also has 3 pools and included dinner. It was amazingly helpful to have a day to just play at the pools, have lifeguards available to allow us the ability to just have to keep a loose eye on kids, not have to travel anywhere for dinner, and be blessed to not have ministry or work items overshadowing the time.

Dad did need to spend nearly 3 hours to get return flights sorted out. We were thankful he had his older phone with him which both has a Brazilian SIM card (his new phone does not have SIM card capacity) and has the Vonage app still linked to our account which was critical because we needed to call an American hotline to talk to an English speaking Lufthansa representative (dad was not even about to try to explain things in Portuguese). Booking tickets for 4 kids, linking them to our already existing return flight, and then changing our return flight to a slightly earlier date proved more challenging than initially thought. But in the end and nearly $6,000 later, we now have return flights purchased for mid October.

In the meantime, mom held down the pool fort, something not so simple despite all the entertainment. It is amazing how stressful it can be just trying to keep an eye on everyone (actually, even our eyeballs are outnumbered at this stage!). A quick trip out for lunch (Burger King was the popular vote and also budget friendly) and a return to the pool for the afternoon make for a reasonably relaxing day. Yet, in the middle of this there were plenty of poolside chats. One child nearly melting down because she wasn’t tall enough to play in the deeper pool by herself and yet she didn’t want to go to the smaller pool when dad had to fulfill a promise to spend equal time with the older boys (who all know how to swim) as with the younger girls (who don’t really know how to swim). Another child really struggling when he perceived his sisters getting things in the kids program (at the kids pool) that he suddenly wanted. Another child who doesn’t seem to know the boundary between funny and extremely irritating…who does not ever rotate turns…who has suddenly become quite jealous of attention being given to dad…who has also grown rather sarcastic and somewhat rude.

All of these situations present serious problems and enormous stressors. But they also present opportunities…ones that mom and dad are not always in the right frame of mind to actually seize. And not all of those were seized well today, but we were thankful to have a few of them grasped. A conversation about how we can either look at all the things we don’t have instead of all the things we do. A chat about stewardship and how this hotel is way, way nicer than most things we would stay at and so no we aren’t buying additional poolside food (even if everyone else is) and that we have fruits if you are hungry. A talk about how parents are responsible for what is best for children not just what children want…and how cell phones are not happening and why (for the hundredth time). A discussion about the need to think about others, how families share and alternate, and how always simply doing what we think is best or most funny might actually turn a lot of people off and result in not many people wanting to spend time with us. And a discussion with two boys about how a third boy has been struggling as well with the adoption and now having to share his parents…how he has been concerned about not fitting in, how he has been worried about the others not liking him, how he has felt left out simply because of language barriers (not because he actually is being excluded), how he has struggled at school because he is different (the only adopted child, the one who is a foreigner, the one who has had to struggle to learn another language), and how he really doesn’t have very many friends. All of these things don’t excuse poor behavior or give allowances for things which are not appropriate, but they might help us understand some of the reasons why so much of it might be coming out now.

It is interesting adopting older children. There are many, many difficulties that are unique to this, but there are also some benefits. It is possible to have such discussions and to help them think through this some…to see the wheels turning in their minds as they realize how hard it might be to not really have friends (something they might be able to relate to somewhat). To see them process the fears he might be facing because they also expressed almost identical fears in an earlier discussion about what if we were to adopt again in the future or if by some miracle Shan’s adoption was allowed to proceed forward. And then to see one of them throw his arm around him, to see another offer to let him shower first this time, and to see someone reverse a decision of where to sit at the dinner table because he realized his decision would leave this other son without someone sitting next to him. These are the moments that we are thankful the Lord allow us to witness and that really, really help when we are the ends of our emotional ropes from trying to deal with all the challenges, drama, and acting out that comes with this.

The Lord kindly grants us windows of opportunities and oasis in the barren lands. We needed a semi vacation day and are so thankful the Lord allowed us to experience that. And perhaps, some of these poolside chats will help both us as we seek to connect well with and care well for each of our children, but also help our children understand and connect well with one another.

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Waterfalls

LS

Today we had the privilege of visiting Foz do Iguacu. It is located on the far western side of the state of Parana (the same state Curitiba is in) and is about an 8 hour drive. Yesterday we got up extremely early to make the drive. Thankfully the kids did reasonably well despite the distance and the very cramped quarters (apparently Chevrolet Spins are the largest possible vehicles to rent). We found a hotel with a pool, which the kids have been loving yesterday evening and this evening. Today we went to the national park to tour the waterfalls by foot and also opted to take a boat ride which gets quite close to the lower level of waterfalls.

The sights were absolutely spectacular! It was an incredible display of God’s creation and artistic handiwork. As we got close to the waterfall, we were sprayed and soaked with the cold water. It was a shock to the senses and made it difficult to stand in one spot for very long despite temperatures in the upper 80s F, low 30s C. Watching this beauty was another reminder of adoption itself. Adoption is a gloriously beautiful gift that the Lord bestows upon all His children and that He has blessed our family to walk through. When you stand back to admire the view, it is absolutely astonishing and incredible in its color. But, at the same time, the closer you get, the more the power of the water and the constant breeze leaves you soaked and a bit shocked.

We saw both the beauty and shocking side on display today. A child helping another in a loving way. One kid throwing his arm around another kid who had tripped and taken a tumble. At the same time, a level of intentionally irritating another child that is frustrating (to say the least). Sarcasm which is understood by the parents who speak enough of all languages, but which is not picked up on by other kids who aren’t fluent certain languages yet. Beauty and chaos all mixed together.

Yet, there are definitely some glorious diamonds in the rough. We pray that the Lord will soften hearts and lives and allow us to lovingly mold them. There are small signs of hearts being impacted – a discussion about Jesus and God which leaves the theologian struggling to figure out how to explain the Trinity to a 14 year old in a language that dad struggles to speak in. An 11 year old asking if we can sit down and read the chapter in the Jesus Storybook Bible about the crucifixion because we haven’t made it that far yet, but he is really interested in it. Very small steps, but ones which are encouraging nonetheless. In the midst of so much emotional, spiritual, and physical damage, we are clinging to whatever glimmers of hope the Lord graciously puts in our path. And the thing about waterfalls is that they are fueled by massive rivers which turn into powerful forces. We don’t know hardly anything about our kids lives before September 1st. But we do know there is a massive river of hurt, pain, broken promises, abandonment, failure, and harm which is fueling it all. But God can take that and paint a grandiose landscape which leaves the world in awe.

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What’s in a Name?

LS

One adoption aspect that all families face is what names will their newly adopted children have? With Elijah’s adoption we picked the name in advance and because of his age, didn’t really have any discussions with him about this. We wanted to keep him connected to his culture and so kept his Chinese first name as his, now, middle name.

But with our Brazilian children we were a lot more apprehensive about picking names. They are much older and, as you might have seen from some other posts, understand quite a bit more. In fact, it is astonishing how quickly they are able to pick up on our emotions (even though we think we are doing a good job of hiding them). Perhaps this also gives you a clue as to what they are most sensitive to…which likely has a lot to do with their history. Because the process required it, we did pick names for them, but also wanted to have discussions with them to give them an opportunity to weigh in and say yes or no to the names. Like with Elijah, we want to keep as many cultural connections as possible. So we opted to keep all the first names the same and instead add new middle names.

One of the things that has been important to us over the years is the meanings of names. Time and time again, Biblical characters have names that signify very important aspects of their lives and ministries. Elijah, for instance, means My God is Yahweh. This fits his story very well as he ministers in a time when the nation of Israel is wavering between false gods and the One True God. Elijah stands as a testimony to the true God and he resolutely proclaims the same truth as his name. This is one reason why we wanted our son to have this name – it is our prayer that his life will make the same proclamation – My God is Yahweh.

The very little that we knew about our children from their files was the basis for name selection. We chose the name Samuel as the middle name for the oldest child. There were really several reasons for this. This was a name we were hoping to give to Shan, whose adoption we still pray will go through. But it is a name of great significance to us because it means God hears. Samuel is the product of God hearing the prayers of Hannah and she specifically names her son this because God heard her pleas. Both Shan and our oldest son are at an age where they are able to have a say in the adoption process – to choose to be adopted or not. Both have chosen to stay in the adoption process in the prayer of getting a forever family. But, furthermore, our oldest son at one stage during his time in the orphanage, wrote a letter asking God for a family. We picked this name because we believe that God heard that cry and is answering it through us. This has also been a point of discussion with the oldest. Even tonight, he was asking again about why we picked this name. We shared the meaning and how his letter inspired this (he was curious to know how the document had this information…which we don’t actually know other than whoever put it together knew this fact). All we know was that he wrote a letter to God and then lost it somewhere. But tonight he filled in just a bit more – that it was a letter specifically asking God for a family. And in sharing the meaning of his name, he commented that we are God’s answer to his letter.

Our second child’s middle name is Nathaniel, which means gift from God. We have been praying for him (and all the other kids) for almost a year now and truly believe that he is a gift from God to us (even though at times our patience wears thin with this gift…perhaps it is a gift in many ways – to build patience in us!). During the final visit with the psychologist yesterday, we role played what will happen at the court hearing next week. Part of the process is that we will finalize the new names. Our second child told the psychologist not only his new middle name, but what it means…maybe more of what we are saying is sinking in than we realize 😀

Our third Brazilian child’s middle name is Liana. This name means My God has answered. It is our hearts desire that she will be able to claim this statement some day. That God is her God and that she recognizes how He has answered.

Our fourth child’s middle name is Ruth, meaning friend. And true to her name, she is a very friendly personality. She is happy to strike up a conversation with almost anyone and has a very winsome personality. Like the Biblical character, we pray that her greatest friend will be the Lord Himself.

What’s in a name? Well, as it turns out, an awful lot! And here is one of the many places that physical adoption mirror spiritual adoption. You see, when God adopts us into His family, we also receive new identities, new names. We are called His Children, Beloved, Saints. Our lives are never the same – it takes years and years for us to slowly start to open up and believe this. The attachment process is often arduous and filled with us ignoring Him, going hot and cold on Him, and doing just about anything to test the limits of His love. But our identity never changes and neither does His love. We pray we will be able to reflect and communicate this truth to our children. And we are thankful that even already, the names of our children give us opportunities to discuss God.

What’s in a name? A world of prayers, history, and new identities.

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Rollercoaster

LS

Adoptions are very much like a rollercoaster. They go up and down and include plenty of turns and twists. For us as parents, it sometimes feels like we are sitting side by side and sometimes like we are on opposite ends of the cart…one might be on a decline and the other still ascending. Emotions are already tricky things and they get all jumbled up in the adoption journey.

We had a final visit with the psychologist today. She was very complimentary and tried to help the kids think through a bit how the court situation will look like next week, when the adoption will become legally official. We will still have some steps after that (like getting passports and such), but we are now more than halfway through our time in Brazil. We have also seen small changes taking place. Little baby steps that are occurring. The rollercoaster ride can seem excruciatingly long at times and we seek to do our best to support each other through it.

One of the big loops with adoption is the feeling on both sides of not being fully embraced or fully accepted. This is something that takes tremendous amount of time and significant effort. It can be exhausting. We can often feel more like babysitters in the early years (and yes, we did write years). It can especially be hard when one person seems to be more attached than another. Interestingly with so many kids, we have seen some kids gravitate more toward one person and some more towards the other. This too has some interesting dynamics that add more ups and downs to the rollercoaster ride.

We are thankful to have taken this journey before, albeit on a very different rollercoaster. This go around we know what to expect in the sense that we know what an adoption rollercoaster is like. But we don’t know exactly how many turns, loops, spins, this one has or the speed at which it will go. So in some ways it is familiar, in other ways it is all brand new. And try as we might to ward off the emotional spins, that is very hard to do when it feels like you are simply being taken on a ride. We also know that emotions can be used as means of temptation and attempts to bring about divisions. Yet, we are thankful that we serve a God who has taught us a lot along the way and who controls all the rollercoasters we are riding. We have made many mistakes in the past, but our God is One who redeems even the worst of mistakes and uses all things for His glory and our ultimate good. So as we are jostled about and thrown around the cart, we endeavor to keep our eyes fixed on Him and to help hold onto each other.

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And Then it Hits You

LS

Often we don’t realize how much we become acclimated to our surroundings. Being in the middle of a storm is overwhelming and exhausting at first, but then you gradually get used to it being the new normal as time goes on. However, what we often don’t realize is that the pounding effects haven’t changed or gotten any easier. The storm is just as intense and the numbing effect is not necessarily always good. It is more of a sign of our senses getting a bit dull. The result is that things can build up without realizing it and then all of a sudden it hits you and the collision impact can seem significantly more violent.

It usually isn’t the first time someone complains about the food options, or the first whining about not getting the desired snack, or the first dramatic begging for everything at the store, or the first exasperation over not getting to do exactly what is wanted this very second, or the first failure to listen, or the first complaint. But somewhere along the line it all catches up to you and knocks you off your feet and suddenly all you can see is the darkness of the storm and the bolts of lightning. It is in these moments that we desperately need the Lord’s kindness and gentle reminders that He is leading us through the storm and that He is powerful over the storms (even as our family devotion pointed out tonight!). And we are most grateful for your prayers and your messages of encouragement! It is always amazing how these are often so “perfectly” timed…almost as if there is Someone divinely orchestrating it all…

A second day of rain and literal storms had us a bit cooped up. A game of Ticket to Ride (the boys were most excited to get mom to play) which managed to maintain attention spans for almost a complete game (ticking time bombs mean that dad has the prerogative to announce final round at any stage in the game and hopefully before any explosions!). Around lunchtime we decided to head out because people were definitely going stir crazy. Although we prefer to do meals at home (for both expense and health reasons), we have found that sometimes it is better for the sanity of all to not always insist on that. So we headed out to a mall to eat at the food court, were able to get more clothes (they are much cheaper here than in Germany), and picked the mall that had the indoor playground (a brilliant marketing concept, by the way). A quick intermission for ice cream (McDonalds fits the budget best and thankfully is popular) and back to the playground. We finally pulled kids away at 5:20pm to get back for dinner and where amazed and thankful that they lasted that long there! We were also thankful for the smoothness in the stores, much better than any other time!

On the way back, the boys asked dad again why we chose to adopt them. But this time they really wanted to know the reasons and not the process or the how. In fact, the oldest specifically asked two things – 1) were we obligated to adopt them and 2) were we going to return them. And then it hits you…the fears and concerns that are hitting them. Though many kids might struggle with wondering if their parents love them from time to time, a unique twist for adoptive children is that question – did they really want me? Do they actually desire me? And are they going to return me?

And suddenly we, and you now too, get a little peak into the storm that they are in the middle of which they have seemingly adjusted to until something builds up enough to hit them…like a tornado of massive magnitude. And kids who have been scarred one too many times ask a question with little emotion and listen to the answer with little emotion…and yet you know there is a waterfall piling up in their lives that at some point has to come crashing down. And it does spill over in other ways – behavioral issues can often be spill overs…it doesn’t excuse the behavior or make it okay, but it does mean it might be the dam attempting to hold back the flood.

This is where language really fails us – dad doesn’t have all the words he needs and broken communication is really frustrating for everyone when it is such a deep topic. Dad can’t manage to hold a deep conversation and try to translate for others and unfortunately this means some people are stuck on the sidelines and others are getting impatient with dad not understanding exact phrases and terms. Before you know it, dad is mixing all kinds of languages together and can’t seem to think in a single language anymore…he can find the word he needs in almost every other foreign language he knows except the one that he needs. Maybe you can picture the struggle and feel the winds of the storm just a bit…

Thankfully the Lord speaks all languages and even understands the combined ones. He is the One our children ultimately need and the One we seek to point them to. And in addition, we try to share with our children that we work very hard to not make promises we cannot keep (hence dad’s favorite Portuguese word – Talvez: maybe) and that we always seek to keep our word. The one promise we do make is that family is forever and that we will always love them (even when we are really struggling to feel it because it is hitting us) and that we will never, ever, ever give them back.

The storm is constantly raging around all of us and will likely continue for years to come. Adoptions, bonding, and attachment do not happen overnight…they can take multiple years just to start forming. And for the most part we don’t fully recognize the chaos we are in because it has become our new normal. And then, every now and then, it hits you.

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You Just Never Know

LS

One of the things we have wondered many times over the last 21 days is, what exactly is going on in the minds of our kids? You see one of the interesting twists of adopting children who are older is that they are processing a lot more information. With Elijah’s adoption, he wasn’t really able to communicate in any language to tell us what was on his mind. Nor did he have quite as much on his mind that had built up over as many years. Down the road he has had a lot of things that we realize are floating around in his thinking – things very few kids his age are having to contemplate. For instance – what was my birth family like? Why didn’t they want me? If God controls all things, how could He allow this to happen? Why am I so different from everyone else?

These are all tough questions to explain to a (now) 10 year old. We try our best while also seeking to make sure it is tailored to his age level. However, we are aware that the situation for our other kids is quite different. Because of their age differences, it is also different for each one of them. Some of them remember quite a bit more than others. All of them have been impacted and scarred by what has taken place even if they aren’t fully cognizant of this – Elijah’s adoption taught us that vividly. Though he remembers nothing of life before meeting us (or very, very little), there are certain things which have left their imprint on him that given the right triggers, will cause certain fear based reactions. Yet for these kids, they come in with far more history and far more knowledge.

We have often wondered what are they thinking? And how do we create a safe space that invites them to share freely without pushing them and instead allowing them to share when they are ready? What things are safe to ask or mention and what things might trigger emotions that they aren’t ready to convey?

An example is that recently the older boys were asking dad about next steps (have we mentioned a fixation with schedules and knowing details yet?). We have learned that we have a bit of flexibility with the end of our trip. We originally planned to end up in Rio de Janeiro because that is where the US Embassy is located and where a German consulate is also based. However, it currently appears as though the final step with the US Embassy is not needed (because we live overseas and this step will occur when we get a citizenship hearing for the kids) and there has been email correspondence with the German consulate indicating that, as we thought, we don’t need to visit them or do anything in particular as Brazilians can enter Germany on a 90 day tourist visa. So we had thought about possibly ending in Sao Paulo instead as it is a bit safer of a city and has the most flights to Germany. We were going back and forth because our return ticket is from Rio, but we haven’t bought tickets yet for the kids (because we need documentation to match) and we need to change our original tickets anyway. In mentioning the various options and scenarios to the boys, the oldest let us know that he really does not want to go to Sao Paulo. This is the city where they were all born and he is aware that his stepfather is still there. He has a particular fear and anxiety of this city and even though he knows Rio’s reputation as having dangerous sections, he would rather go there than be in Sao Paulo. You see, you never quite know what they are thinking.

Or take today as an example. We had a morning that was spent in church (it is wonderful to sing familiar hymns in a different language!), a short trip to a park, and then home for the afternoon because of thunderstorms in place. Amazingly, things went reasonably well despite everyone having gotten very little sleep due to heat and mosquitos eating us alive (boys woke dad up at 4:30…although truth be told, he wasn’t really sleeping either). Board games were played, a short game of tag (that always leaves us worried the house is going to collapse), and then some time hanging out on the couch in between a lot of fruit consumption (grapes, apples, bananas…our supply that we thought would last a lot longer is almost gone). About 10 minutes before dinner, the boys asked dad to sit with them on the couch. Dad was expecting more small talk or silliness like all the other times today. But to his surprise, the question was asked – how and why did you and mom decide to adopt us? To say dad was caught a bit off guard would be an understatement. He set out to try to retrace the process on our side (recall he speaks Portuguese like a 2 year old who is suffering from speech difficulties) and managed to get as far as the advocacy email we spotted which had about 8-10 available children/sibling groups to be adopted in Brazil. After dinner and family devotions, he continued to story to share about how we got their files, talked a lot, prayed a lot, we quite afraid about adopting 4 children, and were convinced that the Lord put their file in our lives for a reason. It was late, they were tired, and so dad tried to keep it brief and yet still thorough. Hopefully this will trigger more conversations in the future.

You see, you just never know what is going through the minds of these kids. And given the language barrier (this is when dad really wished he was actually able to just pick up languages with ease), things are not communicated as well or smoothly as we would like. And there is a whole world of things we can’t yet fully imagine or grasp and a whole world full of things they are unsure about or don’t know. And every now and then, the Lord opens the door just a bit and we get a small glimpse into what is happening in their minds. Because, you just never know.

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Advocacy Video

LS

Dear friends,

Today is a double feature! Our advocacy video for our son in China went live last week – due to the internet where we were staying it was impossible to post it here and then yesterday was very busy and we forgot. But we are very passionate about this and would love to ask you to watch the video on Lifeline’s Facebook page, read the instructions, and help out…and most importantly, we want to ask you to pray for a miracle to the God who sovereignly controls all things!

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1bpg8ksi1q

You can see more information and all the videos on Lifeline’s advocacy website:

https://lifelinechild.org/chinaadvocacy/?fbclid=IwY2xjawM9c1VleHRuA2FlbQIxMAABHlSl_mfd8SFoM1UV96rh-mLALwgF9vxDUrtyMTdROqZdNJMqvBdvyDbcPryZ_aem_s6zlsYLgw7fT7XnnGCIVJQ#hearfromfamilies

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Ticking Time Bomb

LS

Perhaps you have had this same experience if you have kids, but it seems like nearly anything we do there is an invisible timer that begins counting down. The countdown is the time until meltdown, fighting, or other significant disruptive behavior. During mealtime this means that we have to get everyone served (otherwise the table and floor and clothes end up wearing more food), quickly scarf things down, and then clean up afterwards all within the ticking time bomb.

Another place the invisible clock is evident is going shopping. Today, after returning from our trip, we desperately needed to visit the grocery store. The cupboard was quite bare and with 5 always hungry children, that simply doesn’t work well. We visited the airport first because several kids had been asking to do that. None of them have been on an airplane before and they all had questions and concerns about flying. Going to the airport was an opportunity to allow them to see take offs and landings. It actually worked pretty well, but even here there is a time clock ticking…and every child has a different number of minutes on their counter. We attempted to leave before the hangry alarm went off on too many people, but the car was definitely filled with banter that, while starting silly was heading quickly toward hurt feelings and angry yelling. Fortunately we had located a fast food restaurant nearby – we have had way more Burger King and McDonalds than probably any other similar stretch of time. It is sadly one of the more affordable place we can go and the ticking time bomb means that having to wait long for a meal to arrive is simply asking for explosions.

Having figured out the best combinations (yes, we have given up deciding what we would like to eat and are simply eating whatever is the cheapest combo deal) and trying to remember all the likes and dislikes (no lettuce or pickles for one, no onions for another, etc.), we got our food (by the way, we have also learned that giving options is not always the best idea), got drinks for everyone, and had about 10 minutes of peaceful silence while we hurriedly tried to keep pace with kids that acted as if they were desperately starving.

We then set off to the grocery store. Because our car rental didn’t have to be returned until the evening, we were able to visit a super big store equivalent to a Walmart or perhaps Rewe Centrum. The prices were way better than the local stores (making us wish we could shop there more often, but not having a car does have limitations). Our rental car (Cheverolet Spin) had hardly any truck space, but it was still better than having to carry it all (and also the largest vehicle available to rent we have found out). Grocery shopping has a time clock on steriods. There is competition over who gets to push the cart, the need to keep an eye on all children as they tend to wander off, grab things that catch their eyes, touch any electronic screen in reach, etc. It is also having to say “no” to a million things that are requested (no, you cannot get candy, no, you don’t need body odor spray yet, no, we are not buying a television – we have already hidden the remotes for the one in the rental house, no, we are not getting the chocolate pebble cereal, etc.). In the midst of this, we are trying to remember everything we need and grab it without needing to make any return circuits. Having kids help is sometimes more work because it means that they have to be taught that we don’t just throw fruit into the plastic bags because it will bruise and we need to examine the fruit first. Not all lunch meats are equal in quality or in price. Please stay with me and don’t go running off and where did the youngest one disappear to? Don’t touch anything, please!

It is almost like a mini episode of Survivor (maybe this ought to be added into these types of reality shows!). We have to make decisions quickly, not carefully consider all the factors and slowly make our minds ups as we search for the best quality/price ratio. The ticking time bombs do not wait for such things.

However, we managed to survive and bite our lips instead of yell…we are learning how to rapidly attempt to regulate ourselves as our kettles seem always on the verge of boiling over. But, each trip we also see little signs of improvement…all the nos are not quite as disappointing…we are getting better at noticing the time counters and seeing when they are approaching explosion stage…kids are learning how to pick fruit better and work (somewhat) together.

Today we managed to defuse most (stress most) bombs. We consider that quite victorious! Thankfully we have a heavenly Father who knows us at weaknesses and sees our own time clocks, because yet, we have them too and we are learning just how quickly they can tick! He is gracious and patient with us and meets our needs. It is our prayer and desire to reflect Him and His treatment of us to our kids.

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Waves of Change

LS

One of the many benefits of being in Brazil so long is that we have the opportunity to learn a lot more about the culture and to try new things! Today, as we drove back we had the chance to experience the scenery along the 3 hour stretch. The country is beautiful and we managed to see both the ocean and the mountains in a single day.

During our short get away trip, we also experienced another cultural opportunity. Very close to the hotel that we stayed in there was a Pizza place that had a Rodizio option. The Rodizio option is basically like an all you can eat, buffet concept. The difference is that you don’t ever have to leave your table. The table has a little spin wheel which allows you to request more pizza (savory or sweet…or both) or indicate that you need a break. The waiters then come out of the kitchen with the freshly made pizza and ask if you would like a piece. Every few minutes another waiter stops by with a different type. The variety was quite impressive and the kids loved the concept so much that they requested it for both nights. It was a bit more expensive than what we would normally do, but the benefit was that the food was immediately ready (something very key with impatient kids), it had lots of options, and everyone had more than enough to eat (in fact, we might have reversed our weight loss :D). We are thankful to have saved up some additional funds that allow us to take advantage of something like this which is fun, cultural, and memory building! It also allowed us to help our kids think about finishing what is on our plate first before eagerly jumping to get the newest option. Thankfully, we have been working over the past few weeks on the concept of finishing food and not throwing it out or wasting it. We suspect that this was simply never taught before and so it is brand new to the kids. Furthermore, they likely also didn’t have options before…there is a high chance that dinner was simply whatever was made and if you didn’t like it, you just had to wait until the next day.

We are also getting lots of Portuguese lessons every day! The kids more or less manage to understand most of what Luke is trying to say and they help him correct his pronunciation during family worship time (imagine reading the Portuguese equivalent of a King James Bible that is very formal and not using hardly any familiar words). We have mastered the words Sorvete (ice cream) and Salgadinhos (chips or other similar snack foods like Cheetos or pretzels). Can you tell that our kids are very interested in food? They have also come to dread the realization that dad’s most often used word is Talvez (maybe) because there are so many requests for different items.

Today, before heading back, we also got to experience a bit of the Brazilian coastline. The kids loved the beach and even though we had no beach equipment whatsoever, they were very happily engaged in body surfing, collecting shells, and having a fun time. There have been so many waves of change for all of us lately – it is hard to believe it has only been 19 days since we became a family. There are so many things all of us are learning…it feels like we are all facing a majorly exponential learning curve. Amidst the waves of change, it is refreshing to take a little time for just pure fun. It is easy to lose sight of all the stress we are all under and to just get exacerbated that things are not going the way they “ought to be”. It is easy to get frustrated with children that don’t listen and do the very opposite to your face, to be annoyed with the inability to communicate exactly what all of us want to, to be at our wits end with another son who seems to be showing all of his negative behavioral actions on steroids, and to get impatient with one another because we are tired and barely holding it together for plenty of moments. In these times, we are grateful that the Lord allows us to visit the beach, to enjoy playing, and to have this time apart from other responsibilities to build both memories and family. And we are thankful for your prayers, your encouragement, and your financial generosity! You have no idea how much we need all of these! They act as anchor points as the waves of change crash in and they allow us to build an incredibly critical foundation for our family.

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Too Many Bumps

LS

Sometimes the most annoying roads to drive on are the cobblestone roads. There usually aren’t major potholes or massive dips in the road like in other places, but the constant little jarring motions from each cobblestone can add up and take a toll. Adoptions can tend to include both the major potholes and the continual cobblestones. Usually we are able to manage the little bumps, but every now and then the cumulative jarring gets to be a bit too much.

For kids it can come out in terms of more emotionally driven behavior and for adults it can be when we hit the end of our ropes. We try very hard to make sure at least one parent is somewhat regulated and not traveling on empty. However, that doesn’t always succeed and when that plan fails usually there is a spill over effect that impacts others in a way we wouldn’t want.

Today there were one to many bumps in the road. None of them were major, but they all added up. We were able to reasonably enjoy the final day of our side trip, although not without its share of drama, overstimulated kids, and a few parenting decisions that will hopefully be handled better in the future. It is amazing how changing scenery and schedules can add just enough jostles to jar us more than we are prepared for…and lack of sleep certainly doesn’t help especially when this is true for both parents and probably all the kids (with one having had extremely less sleep than he needs and even less than his normal lack of sleep).

We are thankful for your prayers in good times and in bad, when sun shiny days are upon us and when the thunderstorm is raging, when the roads are nicely paved and when the cobblestones throw our backs out of alignment. Thankfully God is gracious and forgiving and it is our endeavor to seek to reflect that to ourselves and those around us.