Author: LS

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Too Many Bumps

LS

Sometimes the most annoying roads to drive on are the cobblestone roads. There usually aren’t major potholes or massive dips in the road like in other places, but the constant little jarring motions from each cobblestone can add up and take a toll. Adoptions can tend to include both the major potholes and the continual cobblestones. Usually we are able to manage the little bumps, but every now and then the cumulative jarring gets to be a bit too much.

For kids it can come out in terms of more emotionally driven behavior and for adults it can be when we hit the end of our ropes. We try very hard to make sure at least one parent is somewhat regulated and not traveling on empty. However, that doesn’t always succeed and when that plan fails usually there is a spill over effect that impacts others in a way we wouldn’t want.

Today there were one to many bumps in the road. None of them were major, but they all added up. We were able to reasonably enjoy the final day of our side trip, although not without its share of drama, overstimulated kids, and a few parenting decisions that will hopefully be handled better in the future. It is amazing how changing scenery and schedules can add just enough jostles to jar us more than we are prepared for…and lack of sleep certainly doesn’t help especially when this is true for both parents and probably all the kids (with one having had extremely less sleep than he needs and even less than his normal lack of sleep).

We are thankful for your prayers in good times and in bad, when sun shiny days are upon us and when the thunderstorm is raging, when the roads are nicely paved and when the cobblestones throw our backs out of alignment. Thankfully God is gracious and forgiving and it is our endeavor to seek to reflect that to ourselves and those around us.

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More Important Things

LS

Today we set off on an overnight adventure. As a part of Elijah’s birthday and family day (today is the 7 year anniversary of God bringing him into our family), we planned a 3 day trip to an amusement park (2 days there and one day at the beach). Because it is a 3 hour drive, we were trying to get out the door early. However, as it would so happen, as we were hurrying about trying to pack, get breakfast, and get people dressed (and convince a few young ladies that pajamas do not work for going to the park and certain pants also don’t work nor do they belong to that person), some overambitious play on the part of one boy resulted in upset feelings and some hurt on the part of another boy.

Of course, because we were rushing about, our quick fix solution was to tell the upset child to stop playing with the other person. He did that, but only later did dad realize that he had also gone to sit by himself on the stairs leading to the basement. Dad didn’t realize that whatever had ensued triggered more emotions and upset feelings. Thankfully, there was still time to attempt to help some with that. So dad went down to sit on the stairs and attempt to talk in very broken Portuguese (naturally he was in a spot that was just out of internet reach and so translation options weren’t even readily available). These are the times we really wish we could speak fluently. You see, something seemingly insignificant had somehow flipped one switch too many – perhaps this child reached there limit, but it is equally likely that past history and trauma came flooding back in this moment.

So for an extra while dad tried to talk, while mom closed to door and kept the other kids away. And the Lord provided a chance on the basement stairs to attempt to communicate to a child that we know things are hard for them, that what happened just now was not right, but was also a part of another child struggling to adjust to all the changes. This led into an opportunity to also brokenly share that we don’t know this child’s history, but whenever they are ready, we would like to hear it and that we are there for them when they feel comfortable. And to also share that the little bit we do know makes us realize that this child had to basically act as an adult for most of their life – they lost their childhood, they were robbed of their years of innocence/fun/play, and they had to be far more responsible than any child that age should ever have to be…and that this was not right…it should not have been…it is a painful reminder of the sinful world we live in (although this sentence didn’t make it due to very limited vocabulary)…and that we are sorry. We hope and pray the next years can be full of more light, life, and laughter – but we also know there is a history that is dark and painful…and a child lugging around more emotional baggage that anyone should have to ever carry…and this is heartbreaking.

Today we left later than planned and much later than we could have. Because there were more important things to do. We missed the first opportunity to seize the situation, but thankfully the Lord provided a second for a child in need. Because sometimes we are in too much of a hurry trying to accomplish all of our plans and meet all of our deadlines. And sometimes we run the risk of missing the more important things God has in store for us. So we are thankful that He provided basement stairs and a tag teaming system to allow us to seek to capitalize on the more important things.

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Assembly Line

LS

Probably anyone with a large family can relate to the feeling of being an assembly line worker. Laundry is an ongoing line of movement – washing in a machine that takes at least 2 hours on the “rapid” cycle, hanging out to dry, folding (just to have them immediately dumped everywhere by kids), and repeat. Mealtimes are assembly line like with choosing between how much food ends up spilled or on clothes and how much mom and dad want to insist on serving everyone. We are able to incorporate small tasks for the kids to do, but we still haven’t yet made it to the stage of them being able to fully help with all these chores.

Even talking with the psychologist (who visited today), can feel a bit like a rotating wheel…first one set of kids, then the other, and then parts of a conversation for the parents who were also having to play referee. Thankfully our kids don’t seem to mind or object to having the psychologist visit. However, even with that, there are little disruptions that can add up over time…a child a bit more emotional than normal, others a bit more rowdy than normal – all signs of things being a bit out of the ordinary and no one entirely sure how to fully handle it.

Thankfully, in the midst of all of the assembly line work and disrupted routines, the Lord continues to reign supreme. We are very thankful for His hand of guidance and care upon our lives. Another day has come and gone, that Lord has been gracious through it all. We are grateful even amidst the 12 sandwiches and never ending clothes waiting to be washed and then waiting to dry…thankfully the house has a yard with more space to hang them!

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Another Day with New Discoveries

LS

Today we set off in search of sports clothing, regular clothing, and a kite. We found a Decathlon sports store which was a 15 minute Uber ride (due to our family size we have to take 2 Ubers) away. The boys were over clothes shopping in about 10 minutes and with the girls clothes shopping can sometimes feel like hostage negotiation especially when one of them picks something that we are not willing to buy for them (either due to price or style). Thankfully, meltdowns were avoided and though clearly disappointed, they handled it better than they have in the past…little baby steps. Sadly, no kite was in sight.

Afterward we took a 2 minute ride to the closest shopping mall which was just out of walking distance. Lunch was first up to avoid hangry children. McDonalds was the choice option and thankfully we are able to make good use of the family deals. We are also thankful that our kids are not fixated on the Happy Meals or the toys…although one was quite annoyed to have lettuce on his burger. We have also learned to order extra nuggets or fries or a burger as these will inevitably be eaten either on the spot or for a snack later. One child was a bit too nervous to ask for a refill (as they didn’t have refill machines to the disappointment of all), so dad helped out. Another kid worked up the nerve, but was still nervous enough that he ended up asking for “a sprite now, please”. At least he had a please in the sentence 😀

More clothes shopping for the girls and the disappointment for the boys that the largest mall we have been in yet had no kite in sight. But we did discover an indoor play ground which was great for mom to stay with the kids while dad rapidly tried to exchange money, withdraw cash, and the hit the clothes store for the boys. Despite him moving as quickly as he could, upon arriving back mom let him know that the oldest had been asking where he was and for some time had decided to climb up to the highest part of the playground to try to keep a lookout for dad – little signs of underlying anxiety.

Despite the major disappointment of not getting a kite, the boys handled it reasonably well. It was a hard hit, but they didn’t go into full expression of being upset. A short time at the nearby park, an afternoon snack of apples and crackers, ending the time with ice cream, and then heading home. More apples and nectarines at home – have we mentioned that our normal food budget for the month has already been consumed? Naturally, this is somewhat to be expected as it was originally designed for 3 people and not 7. But with food prices cheaper, it also shows how much we are going through! And some of that has to do with history and circumstances. One thing we have been working on with the kids is finishing everything that we take – not just eating part of fruit or throwing out half full glasses of juice or milk. They have been doing much better, but these are all signs of what they have been used to – not having food always available, not having options or being able to have opinions, and not having to finish things. With older boys we do expect to be eaten out of house and home, but we also know that the first few weeks food consumption can be at an all time high in part because of not having access to food before in this way and sometimes due to anxiety of not having enough (something we do know is in there history – abandonment and having to scrounge to find things to eat).

Overall it has been a good day, with some hard moments, but as dad finishes his second dinner…because after serving everyone to avoid having food everywhere, helping people with refills, there is only about 10 minutes for a very fast dinner before everyone disappears and the countdown begins to tears, rage, and screams. This means choosing between a full meal, cleaning up, and keeping our sanity…and tonight dad decided he was going to try to get a bit more food after everyone went to bed. By the way, the experiment of weight loss does seem to be holding true…adopting 4 kids does seem to be quite effective in this area. Although, we think it might also work for people who spend all day caring for 4 kids in this stage of their lives as well…we are happy to put that theory to test if anyone cares to give it a go 🙂

Another day is in the book, new discoveries have been made. The most glorious of which are the mercies of the Lord which are new every morning and more than sufficient for each day. These discoveries are most precious in the turbulent seas. We are thankful that in such times we are able to see more clearly what is always true – great is His faithfulness.

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Picking Battles

LS

If you are a parent, then you probably are already familiar with the phrase “picking your battles wisely” when it comes to your children. It simply is impossible to target everything at once – it will overwhelm you kids and frustrate them and leave you playing a real life version of Whack-a-Mole. This applies to adoption too, but with a slight twist.

When it comes to your own children, you know their entire history and have been directly involved in shaping it. This means that you have been working to lay the foundation from the start and so all along the way you have been slowly sifting out certain tendencies and building other good habits. This process is very gradual and allows you to help your child move progressively in a particular direction. Even then, there are certain battles you will battle today and others you will wait until a later time to engage in – all to keep the amount of warfare to a healthy level.

With adoptive children, the adoptive parents are parachuting into a history that already exists. Habits have already been established, the most formational years have all already occurred, and patterns are deeply ingrained. All of this has occurred without the input at all from the adoptive parents. Furthermore, adoptive children have often spent the most time with other children and we all know that they are not the best sources for learning habits and behaviors. This means that one of the challenges for adoptive parents is carefully picking battles. There are a million things that parents can quickly spot which are very different from the way they want their family to operate. Behavioral issues exist which are “normal” for adoptive children, but not in alignment with family values.

In order to minimize the wars and keep the battles at the same manageable levels as for biological children (not an overwhelming level), there are many things that have to be overlooked or perhaps survived. This might mean having a child screaming and kicking at you when you are trying to pull them aside after hitting a sibling – behavior that would normally not be acceptable, but too many battles at once will actually lose the war. Or it might look like trying very hard to remain calm outwardly as a child hears you say no and then does it one or two more times – something that again would not normally be permitted – while you try to talk to the child about respect and listening the first time. It might look like not immediately getting onto a child running away in the grocery store directly after you told them to stay put and instead trying to stay calm and pull them aside to quickly tell them that just because you said it was a joke and apologized does not make this acceptable. And, by the way, in case you were wondering, these are not hypothetical situations. This then compounds some frustrations and behavioral issues for the son who has been in the family longer, knows if he does the same things he will get in trouble, tries them anyway to see if he can get away with it too, and then gets very upset that others seem to “get off lightly”.

If you have been reading this blog carefully, you might be thinking that it sounds like we are writing about children younger than the ones we have adopted. That is another feature of adoption – experts say that for every year of instutionalized care, a half year of developmental delay needs to be taken into account. This means that our children will all (and are) act about 2-3 years younger than their biological age. In fact, we have more or less ignored their biological age and are simply trying to determine where they are and how we can best help them at that level.

Of course, in the heat of the moment, it can be very hard to remain calm (did you notice how much the phrase “try to stay calm” occurred?) and remember all of these things. Picking battles wisely is quite difficult for any parent, but when it seems like an unstoppable onslaught is upon you, it can be downright overwhelming. Thankfully the Lord is gracious with us and is teaching us a lot through this. And this is where we desperately need your prayers! Pray for our wisdom in this and pray for good communication – this is even more critical as we have to be on the same page about which battles we are slowly waging and which ones we are setting aside for a later time.

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Turning Heads

LS

It is not every day that you see a family of 7 walking down the streets of Brazil. Let alone one that has two people of Asian descent, one of European, and four Brazilians. It is more than enough to make people stare and wonder. And, with the exception of perhaps one, most people in this family do not really like being the center of attention.

Today went fairly smoothly. After a very long walk in search of ATMs (none of which were found in 30 minutes) or banks (none of which were open on Saturday…not even the ATM section), dad went to the grocery store for a few items and because he remembered seeing an ATM there. We left shortly after lunch for a larger park and to enjoy the little amusement ride section there. A few tears were shed over not being tall enough for certain rides or not getting to do exactly what they wanted when they wanted. But overall, they handled it fairly well.

The evening included a very nice dinner with an older couple we had met after church last Sunday. One of their granddaughters in the USA is adopted and this led to a quick connection. They were very kind to invite us to dinner and even way more generous to pay for the meal – no small sacrifice when the number is seven! The kids did quite well at the restaurant, although dinner time in Brazil means that the restaurant didn’t open until 7pm. Toward the end, the boys were ready to leave and get to bed and we had one girl with some exhaustion meltdown…but she regulated herself better than she has in the past and we were thankful that mom and dad managed to keep the lid on some boiling tensions.

Thankfully, a good nights rest can work wonders and as we close out another week, we are thankful for all that the Lord continues to do. We continue to see His hand at work and are amazed at how different things are this go around – some in a more difficult direction, but some in a much better direction. We are shocked at how quickly the children have gotten comfortable around us…we were anticipating that taking significantly longer. And we do fully anticipate there will be setbacks upon moving back to Germany, because that is very typical. But overall it is a blessing to see the Lord crack through the ice. There are still many layers that cover over years of loss, injury, and trauma, but to see the outer shell break down is a great blessing.

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Little Black Flies

LS

One of the more unique features of Brazil is that there is a particular very small black fly that happens to have a bite which has a more significant impact than a mosquito. It will leave red welts that last for days. And unfortunately there is one that likes to visit our bedroom around 3am – which doesn’t make for a restful night. The buzzing and landing on any exposed skin will drive you mad.

Adoptive kids face similar little flies all the time. They are so small they are virtually imperceptible and can easily be missed. They are often labeled as just “normal” kid challenges and to some extent they are. You might recall that it isn’t so much that adoptive kids have entirely unique issues (although they certainly do have this due to background trauma) as it is that the “normal” issues are far more intense and significantly more dramatic. But these little flies are incredibly annoying and can interrupt what is supposed to be a restful, relaxing time.

Today we were very thankful to have kept the morning free of scheduled activities. After the long day in the outdoor water area yesterday, it was great to have a slow morning. The kids could sleep in and they stay in pajamas as we almost treated it like a stereotypical Saturday morning (and to a large extent we aren’t sure what day it is anymore anyway). Elijah turned 10 today and he was very excited for his birthday and his siblings were excited to celebrate with him. We had a cake delivered in the morning and spent more than an hour just hanging out on the couch – possibly the slowest and most peaceful morning yet. Several kids decided to get into slow motion film directing with our phones, a small tickling contest ensued, and dad had a couple of kids hanging onto him for a bit.

Lunch was topped by a birthday cake and some small presents – the kids were excited to show Elijah what they bought him. Mom and dad were excited that all the kids enjoyed the few dollar store toys that they had picked out as presents (and noted to themselves to do more few items at cheap prices in the future). We also explained to the kids that we like to do a bigger activity as a present (rather than a lot of expensive items). Next week we are taking the kids to an amusement park which we shared was Elijah’s present (as we are staying a couple of days) and marks his 10th birthday today and his 7th family day celebration on September 17th (hard to believe we adopted him 7 years ago!).

We then went to a local park to meet up with another family who adopted 3 children the day after we did. And that is when some of those flies started to emerge. The first hour at the park the kids were the least active they have ever been at a park. Rather than playing they were primarily sitting and watching us very closely. It was an almost imperceptible thing that could have easily be chalked up to being a bit tired or lethargic. But by paying very close attention and stepping into their shoes a bit, you begin to see the buzzing, annoying things attempting to gnaw away at them. You see, our kids have not been in a situation yet, where mom and dad were talking to another person…much less ones who also had adopted kids. They hadn’t faced not having undivided attention. And it was a new thing which was a bit concerning to them. But unlike many kids who might immediately run up and seek to grab attention, they were almost semi frozen, not sure what to do, but keeping a worried eye on everything. They weren’t even interacting with each other (one of the things that cued us in as that rarely happens). It was a good chance to let them start to experience this a bit, with only one other family, and in a situation where, after a little time, we could alternate going over to them. A few hugs later and some wary eyes watching to make sure nothing changed or happened to mom and dad (or them), and slowly they starting playing a bit more normally.

This is the life of an adopted child – the smallest, most seemingly insignificant issues can be buzzing flies that just disrupt what was an otherwise wonderful time. Again, this is not entirely unique. Young children often feel threatened when their parents attention is captured by something else and this can lead to jealousy. The difference is that for an adoptive child, this is not simply the buzzing of a theoretical concern, it is the biting reminder of an actuality that has already happened – and it can cause an almost freezing level of fear to settle in.

By the time we got home, things were mostly back to normal. There was the stress of not being able to exchange money (the line was simply not moving and it was the choice of wait another 20 minutes or risk meltdown), not managing to find an ATM that was open or would accept our bank card (what are the odds that two banks next to each other would have one closed for cash transfers and the other that wouldn’t accept an outside card?), and getting back to screaming (sometimes in delight and sometimes in anger) and attitudes (the trauma of having to pick up after their own paper mess). And if you read carefully, you can probably figure out that our kids aren’t the only ones who have little black nearly invisible flies seeking to disrupt our lives. Thankfully the Lord is sovereignly over all things, even those annoying buzzes. And we are grateful for His continued, kind provisions!

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Some Sunshine

LS

Today was the warmest day yet and so we had planned a trip to a nearby manmade lake resort with floating inflatables and a small manmade beach. The kids loved it and were in the water basically the whole day. Mom and dad found the water very cold and were glad that its depth was not so deep, which meant the kids didn’t face any danger or need constant assistance. The few times we did attempt to help some kids who were stuck and panicking a bit resulted in seriously jammed toes for mom and dad who are apparently at the age where attempting such cool endeavors both looks foolish and results in injury. We are now sporting black and blue toes – Michelle’s went almost right away to brilliant shade whereas Luke’s took a lot longer due to his Raynaud’s disease.

But today was one of those sunshiny days and we definitely were thankful for the break from the storms. We avoided any serious meltdowns, only had to warn kids a few times about things, and everyone got to bed a bit early and they actually went to sleep right away! To top it all off, we found out this afternoon that the U.S. Embassy finally issued the Article 5! We now have that on hand and it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say some tears were shed (both internally and externally). It is amazing how much something like that can cast a shadow even when it doesn’t cause us any extra direct work. We praise God for His kindness in answering these prayers and we thank you for praying! We hope and pray that all is on track now and that we will hopefully not face any more hiccups along the way!

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A Spoonful of Humility

LS

Being in a pressure cooker the way we feel we are gives lots of opportunity for growth and humility! Having to apologize to each other and to kids because we didn’t act the way we had hoped reminds us of our fallen state. Language struggles continue to point out our inabilities. Reading the Bible in Portuguese and butchering the language is a great way to remove pride. And our kids who find it humorous and try to help correct pronunciation is another great way to learn to be humble and truly grateful for the help. It is a great treatment for recovering perfectionists.

It is also interesting and somewhat insightful to see what our kids say in which situations. For example, when attempting to order ice cream at a McDonalds dessert stand (which we think is a brilliant marketing idea – multiple kiosks in malls just for the dessert options), one son informed that cashier that dad only speaks English because he clearly wasn’t understanding whatever question was being asked. However, when the child psychologist was with us on Tuesday, the same child was very quick to inform the psychologist she didn’t need to keep translating for dad because he understands everything. Little things like this can actually have some deeper meanings. The ice cream situation is one far removed and there is no potential concern for the family stability. But, with the psychologist, there can be a bit of a perceived fear of what might happen if she thinks things aren’t going well (by the way, not just for the kids) and attempting to put things in the best light.

Amidst the challenges of the last few days, we also want to share some bright spots as we seek to celebrate the blessings and victories that the Lord graciously grants to us. The child psychologist shared that she was surprised and how relaxed the children were and how much they have opened up. She especially mentioned the drastic difference from the first day (hard to believe that was only a little over a week ago) to yesterday – something we have noticed too. We have also been quite shocked at how quickly all the kids have opened up as we really expected this would take significantly longer – and there will be harder days in this regard…one step forward and sometimes two back. In fact, the psychologist shared her perspective that the meltdowns of the last few days are actually positive signs in one respect because the indicate the children are comfortable enough to not try to stuff everything in or put on a “show”. We agree and do want to be very thankful for that! She also mentioned how in all the times she has worked with the children she has never seen the second boy so relaxed and opened. We have also been surprised since he was one of the quietest in our phone conversations (and day one), but has actually been one of the most talkative and expressive in the last week.

Thank you for your prayers in our dark moments! We really need them and cannot tell you how incredibly grateful we are for them! But we also want you to rejoice with us and see both the valleys and the mountain tops. God has been incredibly gracious to us! We are extremely thankful!

Regarding the Article 5 problem – we still, unfortunately, have no news. Lifeline has been having some trouble getting communication lines to open with the Embassy and OCI (their direct contact in the US State Department). They did finally get a message today from OCI that their repeated messages and requests have been received – but nothing beyond that. Lifeline is planning to try to reach out to our state representative in order to see if they can leverage some additional weight to get the ball rolling. Please do pray for a speedy resolution to this – there is nothing we can do about it and so we are leaving this in the Lord’s hands and thankfully trusting Lifeline to carry the load. But at the same time, even though we truly aren’t obsessed or deeply worried (yet) about it, it does remain in the back of our minds. Thank you for praying with us for this!

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A Little Bit of Certainty

LS

Many of the challenges adoptive children face are not necessarily entirely unique. In fact, biological children often show similar patterns and tendencies. However, what tends to make them a bit more on the unique side is that these issues tend to be much more intense for adoptive children. One reason for this is that almost all adoptive children have experienced a severe lack of stability. They have been uprooted from previous lives, had very little control over anything, and often haven’t been able to form a stable bond with anyone at a deep level. As wonderful as social workers are (and we are very grateful for the tremendous work that they do), they aren’t quite the same as parents. They come and go, sometimes in unpredictable ways for kids.

The result is that adoptive children are often struggling to find security, stability, and as much certainty as they can manage. This shows up in many ways, but for all 5 of our children, knowing exactly what is going to happen when is quite important. Again, this is not necessarily unique. All children have a desire to know what is going on and what is next. But for adoptive children this is not simply stemming from curiosity, it is an attempt to find stability in predictable outcomes. This means that changing a schedule can trigger some serious emotional response, because a change feels like the ground being swept out from under their feet. For this reason, we try very hard not to make any guarantees that we aren’t quite certain will be actualities and that we try very hard not to change things that we have told our kids.

Today we moved locations – from an apartment to a house. The move itself was actually not so triggering for our kids (although it might have been more so for mom and dad). But the fact that there were delays was much, much harder. The person helping with the move arrived earlier than originally planned (which, by the way, the kids all knew about several days earlier because they wanted to know exactly when the pick up was happening). The earlier arrival threw mom and dad into overdrive mode to attempt to pack and clean everything with an hour less while dealing with kids who weren’t willing to help and who were bothered by the fact that the person showed up about 20 minutes late (yes, they kept count, watched out the window, and kept asking to see my watch to check the time). Then, the fact that dad went with the luggage on round one was hard to swallow even though we explained the plan – luggage first, then kids. The front door was jammed and so returning for the kids was an additional 30 minute delay to get a locksmith to come (with kids moving to mini meltdowns over having to wait longer), some kids were not terribly pleased (to say the least) that they had to walk (because the car didn’t have enough space), and their stability was being threatened.

The psychologist visited us today, which she very kindly offered to change dates in light of our house move. Ordinarily we would jump at such an opportunity, but because of the above, we actually asked to keep the schedule because they already knew the day she was coming and the time. Arriving at the house triggered a few more meltdowns because everyone wanted the same room and the same bed. One person was especially in all out meltdown because he had requested a bigger bed days ago (looking at the new location was very important…stability once more) and even though we had been very careful to tell him maybe, he forgot that part and only saw favoritism when the girls were granted that room (because two girls and two beds fit better than three boys and two beds…at least to mom and dad’s logic). Another child began approaching meltdown because she didn’t want to share a bed anymore, but was only willing to have the big bed and not alternate.

Mom and dad ended up in two different rooms with two kids working to resolve issues…things that again would be a problem for any child (unmet expectations), but were much more intense because stability had already been disrupted and was now being threatened again. Our son finally calmed down enough to listen and to talk. He let loose a whole list of things that were building to a boiling point – the girls are always getting the things he wants, we favor the girls more than him, dad loves the girls more than him, mom doesn’t love him as much as his sisters, etc. Big emotions compounded by some really big changes. Thankfully we were able to help talk him through these things and try to help him understand that we love all our children the same amount – with our whole hearts.

You see, sometimes the same fears that we all have can be magnified to the extreme for those whose life experiences have been filled with instability, lack of control, and never truly belonging. And as adoptive children of our Heavenly Father, there is much in here that we can relate to also. The fears and concerns that get magnified because we are struggling to learn how to plant our feet firmly in the Rock who is our Savior. And stability takes time to build, it doesn’t happen overnight, and it isn’t without its share of failures. But God is infinitely patient with us and we are striving to lean into that and to reflect that because we feel like melting down even as we are attempting to help someone who is melting down. Praise God that He is gracious with us! Pray for us to be gracious with each other too!